Monday, April 23, 2012

Where Everbody Knows Your Name

I had the pleasure of heading up to DC this past weekend to visit with some old friends and attend the Submarine Birthday Ball on Friday night. I can't tell you how amazing it was to see faces I haven't seen in almost 10 years and have a conversation as if we saw each other just last week. If there is any question as to the bonds forged in the military, Friday night serves as a prime example of how important those bonds are to us. Everywhere we are sent with the military as long as we find a group of military persons who have served in our specialty we will find friends. For me it was refreshing to hang out with a bunch of submarine qualified individuals for just a night to remind me of my military roots and see those who inspired me to take the path I am now on.

There were 5 of the 16 students in my department head class, 5 of the 67 in my initial training pipeline, a former boss, one of my sonar techs who is training for an elite sonar designation in the DC area, a fellow instructor from Nuclear Power School, a former JO who is now a doctor and a fellow department head from my second ship, a former student of mine from power school and all of their significant others. I couldn't help but hear the theme song from Cheers in my head as I kept running into people I knew and had no idea were stationed in DC.

It is nights like this past Friday that make me realize just how special this whole military community truly is.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Injured or Prophetic

A group of individuals spend almost three years getting to know each other and learning their quirks and strengths. They spend more time together than with their families that they only rarely find an opportunity to see as they are always on the road doing their job or learning how to perform better without their leader. They quickly become friends and eventually treat each other as brothers and sisters. The respect for their leader quickly becomes adoration and devotion. They would follow him anywhere, even to the gates of hell. His leadership and dedication to their well-being is unmatched. Outsiders take notice of his leadership and many want to switch units to follow him. Then, one dark day that vaunted leader is brutally murdered and many of the group watch. Some up close, some from a distance. They don’t know what to do. They retreat, talk and plot their next move. They have choices; 1) disband and run, 2) murderous revenge on those who killed their leader, 3) let the event drive them into a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior, 4) grow from his death and put what he taught them into action and complete the mission. What are they to do?


This is a familiar story today. We hear many reports of those serving overseas experiencing similar conditions and choices. A tight knit unit loses a beloved member or even their leader in a traumatic manner. This causes post-traumatic stress. It happens often in combat. Those who witness those events have choices similar to the ones listed above. But, the above story isn’t about combat. It’s actually a condensed version of Christ and his disciples. I don’t tell it here in this context as a way of conversion (though if it inspires you that way talk to a local pastor or myself to further explore those thoughts). I tell it as a case study of how to treat combat veterans as they return from combat.


All too often in the press, we hear of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the dreaded four letter acronym PTSD. The military has gone to great lengths to remove the last word to encourage people to seek help if they think they need it. By removing the disorder portion we want people to see it as an injury. The military talks now of combat stress injuries and openly discusses post-traumatic stress. All good efforts, but I think we are missing the point. Most people who have witnessed a traumatic event want to just put it behind them and move on. That isn’t possible. Repressing those events just builds up the pressure and makes it worse when it comes to a head. Talking about it with a trusted person is the best treatment (and, yes in some cases medication is needed alongside verbalization).


And because society doesn’t understand what is going on because they either don’t want to hear what survivors of a traumatic event need to say or because they don’t want to understand how to talk with them, society just paints everyone returning from combat with a broad brush of PTSD. I am routinely asked if I am ok, if I saw anything that would make me a ticking time bomb of PTSD. My Marines are accused by their loved ones of having PTSD and those loved ones call me with their diagnoses because if combat changes you it has to be for the worst. Right?


Wrong! There is something called Post-Traumatic Growth that I think we can cultivate in the majority of persons who see combat. It is a relatively new idea (last 20 years or so) coming from research surrounding cancer patients and a study of Israeli terrorist event survivors. I don’t have a lot of research or links as most of the articles are pay to read, but the idea is important for those dealing with combat veterans. The basic idea is that post-traumatic stress occurs following any traumatic event. The symptoms are the same: loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, nightmares, behavioral changes, etc. The difference is how the individuals cope with the symptoms. They can either let the event define their life in a positive (growth) or negative (disorder) manner. The communities surrounding the individual play a huge role in which way they go. Much of what we do in the Marines is to promote growth through talking about it before and after we enter a combat zone. It works in the overwhelming majority of cases. What if we changed our frame of reference when dealing with combat vets from one of expecting disorder to one expecting growth and positives?


So what does this have to do with the disciples? Everything. The disciples could have either run and given up everything they were taught about bringing about a different reality. They didn’t they chose to live into what they learned. They brought meaning to a brutal death. They lived lives that honored the one who taught them. They sought a different way from what society expected from them. They continued what they knew was the correct path despite ridicule from society. Those close to them kept encouraging them to stay true to their training. They believed in that community and what it stood for to risk everything, including their lives, to show others the new reality they saw. Prophets.


My Marines and Sailors want to grow from combat and most do. But, society tries to prevent that. They are all painted with a disorder brush and society expects them to fall apart after seeing combat. But, we don’t expect that from plane crash survivors, cancer survivors and their families, those suffering from paralyzing accidents, etc. Why paint combat vets with that brush? I can’t answer that. But, I can say those who have seen combat have a different view of life. And maybe society doesn’t want to hear what they have to say about how we are living life. They know that war sucks. They know that blind consumerism isn’t a sustainable reality. They know that arguing about stupid stuff doesn’t solve problems. Those who serve will let you know you are focusing on the wrong stuff. And they are gruff about it. It’s the way they are. They have become prophetic without knowing it. It’s hard to hear. We can either listen to their stories or write them off as mentally ill like we have done for millennia.


When society fails to listen to their stories and the reality they have seen, we force them down the self-destructive road. They get fed up with society telling them what to believe and how to interpret combat. Even if you don’t agree with what they did, give them space to talk about how they see life differently. They have a profound life experience that can show us a better reality because they know what negative effects violence can lead to. Many are thinking of ways to make the world better and the trivial pursuits of a mundane life are no longer enough. They want to make a profound impact on life reflective of the profound experience of combat. In this time where Christians celebrate renewed life and the impossible becoming possible, let us listen to some modern day prophets for glimpses of a new and profound reality.


Let this start a conversation. Comment and share as you see fit.