Reflecting on Seminary (or Learning How To Wait)

So, the Navy delayed the board that decides my entry into Active Duty or the Reserves leaving me with two more weeks of waiting on where the next chapter of my life takes me.  This has provided me with an opportunity to do some things I probably wouldn't have been able to do over the last few weeks.  I got to travel to Hawaii to see a good friend get married.  The time has allowed me to put quite a dent in the stack of books sitting on my desk that seminary did not afford me the time to read (fiction and military history being the largest categories I am tackling.)  I have been working on the house, finally getting to some home improvements I was putting off and also dealing with a bunch of things that happened to break in the last week.  Next I head to DC to visit some old roommates and then off to Montreat again this summer but this time I will get to work with college students that are helping out the conference.  But more than anything else I have been able to reflect on the last three years and what this time meant for me and my future ministry. 

One major thing I have realized in this period of reflection is what seminary taught me and what the three years taught me.  Seminary, for the most part, was not where I learned how to articulate my theology or how to engage the world in a theological manner.  This is not to say the time was wasted or to discourage others from the process.  Seminary provided a great venue for me to learn how to think and write in a completely different manner than I had learned during my engineering studies and my role in the submarine force.  I didn't realize I could read or write that much in a week.  Not only did I learn how to write in a manner that would fit an academic context, but I also learned in my preaching classes how to write and speak to the context in which I would find myself whatever that would eventually look like.  I also learned that there is not singular theology to which we should all follow.  I think we all come out of seminary, or even from a particular congregation, with slightly different ways of speaking of God and our encounters with God.  The wide variety of reading in seminary showed me that in a stark way as they all have a slightly different take on the subject.  But none of these things really helped me to articulate my theology in a way others would understand. 

I have to admit that I learned theology outside the confines of classes.  There were times in which my fellow students debated what I believed and I learned how to articulate theology to those fluent in the lingo.  But I had to work in congregations to learn how to articulate theological themes, which can get quite complex, to those without the vocabulary.  Children taught me how to explain those complex themes in powerful ways that we can all understand.  My experience with kids shows they understand theology in a deeper and more powerful way than those of us "educated" folks.  The way they describe things cuts away the fluff we like to put on those themes.  But perhaps the place I really learned about theology was working at a children's hospital for the last three years as a volunteer.  They didn't care why I was there, only that I was there with them in that moment.  I entered into extreme suffering and extreme joy and learned how to feel comfortable in both emotions and that God is definitely in both of those spaces.  I learned that every interaction with another person is a sacred moment and that God is there in all of the relationships that I made with the children and their families.  I learned theology in the extremes and in the uncomfortable places of life not in the comfortable place I found myself in the sub force.  Now I have to wait and reflect some more before God sends me out to the extremes of life again to learn more theology in a different context and to pass on the lessons I learned over the last three years. 

Where's The Grace

There was a small blip in the news last Wednesday that caught my attention.  A group of 40 retired military chaplains sent a letter to the President regarding repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell.  They are decidedly against the change in policy saying that it would "threaten the religious liberty of chaplains and Service members."  As someone who is planning to become a military chaplain in the near future, and like the writers of the letters is not prohibited from speaking on the subject, I don't quite get what they mean.  Allowing someone of a sexual orientation you don't agree with doesn't affect your liberty in anyway.  To support this claim they use end of the world scenarios that would occur if we follow a steep and slippery slope.  There are homosexuals serving in the military right now and chaplains minister to them in a caring and compassionate manner right now and keep the information, like all conversations with the chaplain, privileged. 

They make an argument that repeal of DADT would water down their faith.  Last time I checked the message of grace was central to the Christian faith.  Plus, we all sin and are in desperate need of the grace provided through Christ.  That's kind of what Easter is about.  Each of these chaplains that signed the letter are sinners and probably acknowledge that every time they perform a worship service in a prayer of confession.  As one who is of the Reformed tradition, which many of the signers are as well, it is pretty much a staple of the worship service.  The chaplaincy allows us to conduct a worship service in a manner consistent with our own religious beliefs and thus prevents any watering down of our faith through services we conduct.  Granted, public services have a different standard, but that is to be expected based on the pluarlistic nature of the military.  Plus, don't these chaplains have to sit through services not in their own tradition when someone else is at the pulpit or they are monitoring the quality of service provided by their lay leaders. 

What really worries me about this letter is that many of the signers are endorsers for their faith groups.  What this means is that if they so choose, they can pull endorsements of their chaplains leaving a large number of gaps in the manning, thus removing chaplain support and causing the problem of service members lacking ministry support, something they claim will occur if DADT is repealed.  I suggest they just let their chaplains serve and navigate the murky waters of this issue like every other aspect of our lives.  It will take prayer, relationships with other chaplains and lay persons and most of all a lot of grace.  The focus should be on providing ministry to the best of our ability, according to our gifts, to every Sailor and Marine that crosses our path regardless of their situation, faith or sexuality. 

That Was Loud

So I got to watch the national championship game on Monday night in Cameron Indoor with about 5,000 other Duke students.  Needless to say it was pretty amazing and the loudest I have ever heard Cameron.  The ability to watch big time college athletics while in seminary was a reason to attend Duke in the first place and I really haven't been disappointed at all in that aspect, especially because I could drive down to Atlanta and watch Georgia Tech in football to get the full fix of sports as Duke hasn't quite gotten there for football yet.  The crowd just doesn't get into it yet, but that will come. 

It was nice to be on campus when the school I attended competed for and then won a national championship in a major division 1 sport.  It was a nice way to go out this year by having an experience that not many people get to witness and participate in.  I think maybe they need to kick the alumni out of Cameron a few times a year and fill it with students to completely overwhelm opponents with the crowd noise.  At times it was deafening and made me wonder why alumni don't feel the need to cheer and get into the games.  Oh well, I guess that happens as we get older. 

Congrats Duke and I hope you get there again next year. 

One Step Closer

Seeing how school work has been keeping me quite busy lately, I figured during my night off from school to focus on the Final Four would be a good time for a quick post to update the ordination status.  A few weeks ago, I was deemed certified ready for a call.  This basically means I have met all the requirements to officially look for a job and to have my resume for the denomination posted online.  I still need to find a job in order to get ordained, so there is still more waiting.  I have an endorsement from my denomination to enter as an active duty chaplain upon graduation and pending my ordination, so right now I am really just waiting to graduate (4 weeks and 4 papers away) and have the Navy board approve my application.  Once that happens, I get to go back to the presbytery and get final approval for ordination, then it is off to wherever the Navy sends me. 

Now if I can just find some motivation for school in these last few weeks it will make the wait less frustrating. 

Finally!

I have been fortunate to attend the Duke-UNC basketball game at Cameron Indoor stadium the last three years.  One of the benefits of going to grad school at Duke.  I can still remember the sheer joy of actually being able to be there the first time two years ago.  It was something I had always wanted to see and experience.  However, the first two years ended up with Duke on the losing end.  This year things pointed to us having a win with Carolina being in a major down year and Duke playing great as of late.  Luckily it all worked out the way I had intended and the last game I will probably attend at Cameron, cause I don't think a Chaplain is ever going to wind up with the cash to attend the UNC game.  We won 82-50 and here are some photos from the evening.

First, Dickie V crowd surfing before the game

Singler making some of his 25 points

The bonfire afterwards on the main quad

The Future Looks Bright

And I am not just talking about my future though I am excited as I begin my last semester of seminary this week.  The last three years have flown by, but I digress.  I am talking about the future in general.  As someone who is specializing in ministry to youth and young adults, the prime age of most in the military, I tend to work with those who will be shaping the policies and daily things in our lives over the next few decades.  What I have found interesting is how many people as they get to my age, but mostly those a few decades older seem to think that the younger generation will not live up to their own accomplishments.  I haven't been able to see much of a difference on a macro scale that others with more wisdom and age claim.  On the micro and individual scale I do meet many younger people that leave a lot to be desired.  I have also come to realize that my views may be a bit skewed due to my extensive work with youth and young adults that is long term in nature.  But it still doesn't prevent me from defending those who are coming into their own right now.  They have changed my life and will soon have that effect on others as they go forth in the world.  This weekend showed me that there are many bright spots out there beyond just my own circle of youth and young adults that I work with.

I had the privilege of interviewing a number of high school seniors this weekend for a highly selective scholarship at Georgia Tech.  I have never met or heard of any of these students before so they were definitely outside of my circle of youth.  And from what I heard from these students, the world is definitely in some pretty good hands.  They will not all go to Tech nor will they all get a scholarship there but they each have some great enthusiasm and energy to make their mark on the world and each in a different field and for different reasons.  There were a few that humbled me in what they have already accomplished at a young age and just how amazing they are compared to me now, much less when I was back in high school.  It was a pleasure to have a vivid reminder of just how amazing the youth that we run into truly are.  Sometimes I get used to the wonderful students that I work with and think that I get to work with all the good ones when in fact they are just a sample of the talent in the youth and young adults all around us.  Now if I can just figure out a way to make the church understand and tap that talent, I think things would be better not just for the church but for the world in general. 

Time Flies By

It kind of hit me today that I only have one more semester left before finishing this whole seminary thing and I can't believe how fast the last two and a half years have flown by.  This also reminded me of how much work towards ordination I need to complete in the next few weeks.  I have to fill out the necessary paperwork for three bureaucracies so I can get interviews for them all.  And it has to be done in a certain sequence so that it all fits together nicely.  Hopefully, by the end of July it will all be done and I will just be waiting for orders of where to start the next phase of my military career. 

I am also excited about the future chapter and that makes the necessary pain of all this work easier to bear.  I can't wait to get it all done and then get out there as a full Chaplain and see fruits of the last few years of work and lack of income.  It is also going to be nice as I get a four day weekend each week because I am only in class Monday-Wednesday next semester.  Don't know how I got that lucky, but I won't complain too much.  What is even more exciting is that I won't have an internship next semester, so I might actually have a lot of free time to work on this stuff and also to get out and see some of the more out of the way places of NC and also to go visit friends in neighboring states.