Remembering Seven Fallen Brothers

Yesterday morning we held a memorial service at Camp Lejeune for the seven Marines we lost in a mortar explosion while training in Hawthorne, NV. For all the 1/9 families and friends that were unable to attend, as is my tradition (which I really would like to never have to do), here are my remarks from the service:

Five weeks ago, our lives changed forever. Nothing can change that. Nothing can erase that day. It was a night of chaos and carnage that gave way to a day of beauty and courage. I don’t want to forget that night, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. We owe it to Ripp, Josh, Joshua, Billy, Rog, Mason and David to remember that night. But, we owe it to them to remember not just the tragic but also the good and heroic. And what better way to honor the events of March 18^th and the men of Hawthorne than to reflect on what it means to be a Deadwalker.

Most normal people would recoil at the prospect of joining an organization nicknamed the Walking Dead. That or they would think it’s just a fan club of the TV show where they could hunt zombies. Like many of you, when I received word I was coming to 1/9 I went to the two sources of all information, Google and Wikipedia, to learn the history of my new unit. After reading the history of the unit and discovering the unit called themselves the Walking Dead, I found the name a bit morbid and chalked it and the Grim Reaper logo up to the infantry obsession with skulls. And two years ago, like many outside our unit, I would have thought it odd to call someone a good Deadwalker. But, after March 18^th we know there is honor and deep meaning in wearing the title of Deadwalker.

So what does it mean to lay claim to the name Deadwalker? What sets us apart from other people? Other units? For the guests who aren’t familiar with the unit’s history, our name came from the time those who walked before us spent in Vietnam. After a particularly difficult and brutal battle we had suffered the worst day for the Corps in Vietnam both in sheer numbers and in percentage of casualties. One Viet Cong General reportedly stated that we were never going to win and were essentially walking towards our death and burial and called us the Walking Dead. That nickname was even broadcast over Vietnamese propaganda radio by the infamous Hanoi Hanna encouraging us to go ahead and die. We embraced that name, but not in the way they expected. They had no clue what made up a member of the Walking Dead. Even death itself cannot defeat a Deadwalker.

          

Today we remember seven men who embodied everything it means to be a part of the Walking Dead. As you have heard from many others today, these seven Marines weren’t just great Marines, they were outstanding young men who had much to offer the world. They had already made a positive difference here in the unit as well as their communities back home. These men looked death in the face on the night of March 18^th and just grinned because they knew death wasn’t getting the final say in their lives.

        

Death will always lose when it is up against infantry Marines that are willing to argue with each other that they are the best potential date for Taylor Swift. Death doesn’t stand a chance against the sarcasm of these Marines. Death’s darkness can’t overcome the illuminating smiles and powerful sense of humor of these men. Death can’t bully men who refuse to succumb to peer pressure. Death can’t recover from men who will do anything to save their brothers and put others above their own safety in a time of need. Death’s grip isn’t strong enough to compete against the beauty of a simple memorial of rocks and chevrons created by brothers in arms. The fear of death will always be overwhelmed by lives that inspire thousands of people in communities around this country to come out and pay respects to their fallen sons. 

Men such as these change lives for good and are the shoulders that the Corps stands upon. We take men such as these for granted because we expect great things from them. Men like Ripp, Joshua, Rog, Billy, Josh, David and Mason defeat death because they show us how to live. Their bodies are buried, but their lives will continue on and their impact will multiply as we live lives that honor the way in which they changed our lives for good. 

We call this battalion the Walking Dead and the men Deadwalkers not because they are walking around awaiting death or because of a morbid sense of humor. No, we call ourselves Deadwalkers because we walk through death with no fear. We show death it is nothing in the face of such men. Time and again, death has tried to defeat this battalion. Time and again, death has lost because we live lives inspired by men such as Josh, Billy, Mason, Joshua, Ripp, David and Rog. Lives that inspire others to live well. Lives that death can’t extinguish. So the next time the Battalion Commander ends a formation with his familiar call and response, don’t look at it as cheesy false motivation. Answer his call with pride that you are part of this storied unit and that you are willing to honor the lives of these seven and all those before you who proudly bear the name Deadwalker. 

And here is a photo of the memorial that I alluded to in the remarks:

Arlington

I had the privilege yesterday of performing a burial at Arlington National Cemetery for one of my Marines who was killed in Hawthorne, NV on March 18th. I had hoped to never be called on to perform such a task, but sometimes we don't get exactly what we want. Below are the remarks that I made. I would have posted the memorial service remarks from Bridgeport, but I didn't type those up and lost my notes so I'll post them once I can transcribe from the DVD.

Today we gather on sacred and hallowed ground with heavy hearts to remember the life of a great Marine, but more importantly the life of an outstanding young man. It will take time for us to comprehend that Taylor is gone. But we can find a measure of solace in the fact that Taylor led a good life and embodied the spirit that earned his unit the nickname of the Walking Dead. It may seem odd to call someone a good Deadwalker, but I think after the events of two weeks ago we better understand what it means to claim the title of Deadwalker.

The Vietnamese claimed that our battalion was dead and awaiting burial, so they called us the Walking Dead. Unfortunately they didn’t know what made up a member of the Walking Dead. Even death cannot defeat us or stop us from making a difference in this world. Billy’s life and the way he had a positive effect on all those around him prove that death didn’t get the final say so on the 18^th of March.

Death just can’t defeat an infantryman that is willing to vehemently argue that Taylor Swift would choose him over any other Marine. Death can’t win against someone who begrudgingly accepted being called Billy, a name he couldn’t stand, because his brothers in arms gave him that name. Death has no chance to outlast the legacy of someone who conquered three deployments and three weeks on the mountain at Bridgeport. Death can’t claim victory over someone whose smile and love of life were infectious to all who encountered him. Death has no chance to outlast the legacy of a man like Taylor.

Men such as Taylor change lives for the better and are what the legend and lore of the corps are built upon. Marines like Taylor, lead and shape lives in ways they never realize in life. Only upon their death do we begin to see the full impact of their actions on the lives of their brothers and every person they have known. We take men like Taylor for granted because we expect great things from men such as him and in his absence we see the effect he had on our lives. Men like Taylor defeat death because they show us how to live. Today we bury his body, but we will never bury his life because that will continue to live on and multiply in the lives of those he changed for good.

A Need For Balance

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For all the persons reading this blog from 1/9, this post is one discussing issues in my faith group so if you ignore it, I'll understand. 

Over the Martin Luther King Jr. weekend I attended a peace conference as one of five military chaplains invited by Presbyterians Caring for Chaplains and Military Personnel (PCCMP, my endorsing agency) into the discussion. It was an excellent opportunity for me to engage with Presbyterians who, like me, are committed to a world with no more war. While I believe in a different path to that same goal than the majority of the participants, I have no problem working myself out of a job. This just made it more disappointing that a discernment conference was anything but a time to discern our denomination’s stance on war and violence.

A severe weakness in this process stems from the fact that there was limited time for discussion among the participants outside of meal times. The conference focused on  lectures followed by 10-15 minutes of Q&A at the end of each session. Additionally, the presenters for each session were afforded little if any time to dialogue on their respective stances prior to the Q&A portion of each session. This left the impression that those of us in attendance were there to learn from the experts on how they advocate for peace and that we should engage in similar ways. Unfortunately, those methods are not easily applied across the myriad of contexts the participants immerse themselves in each and every day. For example, I am the sole minister to a congregation of over 1000 infantry Marines, 90% of which are under the age of 35, 60% under the age of 25. Religiously, my Marines are approximately 50% Protestant, 20% Catholic, 25% have no religious preference and the remaining 5% come from backgrounds including atheist, agnostic, Muslim, Jewish, Baha’i, Rastafarian and Jedi (yes, they do claim that as a faith group and place it on their dog tags). From such a broad context, I had many questions, just no real space to discuss them with the other participants.

            A second major weakness in the conference came in the lineup of presenters. Most were extremely active in the peace movement as professors of peace studies throughout the country or working in institutions in which non-violent strategies were the sole manner of achieving peace in the world. Their insights were valuable and allowed me to discuss academic insights with my Commanding Officer upon my return to work. However, the conference had an insular feel that non-violence was the only way to achieve peace as only two speakers spoke to the nuance and complexity of the goal of a peaceful world through a Just War background. Unfortunately, this echoed the tone of the Peace Discernment Interim Report which gives this minister the impression that GA 221 will be presented with a recommendation for the PC(USA) to declare itself a “peace church” as discussed by Professor Long in the February 4^th edition of the Outlook. A balanced lineup of speakers would have greatly enhanced the discussion and prevented an insular feeling with speakers all essentially saying the same things.

            Discussing our denominational stance on peace and violence is an important discussion. We do ourselves no favors if we aren’t open to hearing all sides of the issue. If those who are writing this report all hold the same ideas and arrange conferences that uplift their views, are we really opening ourselves up to the leading of the Holy Spirit? Those who advocate non-violence have a seat at the table in military circles as members of the military read the writings of advocates of non-violence and many front line units are advised by chaplains from mainline denominations. My Commanding Officer wants to hear what pacifists have to say on war and he expects me to read and understand that argument as it heavily informs my unit’s reliance on Care Ethics. Chaplains are out there ministering to the very people who are directly affected by policies that send young men and women into combat. We know what it is like to counsel someone within minutes of killing an enemy and all of the pain that entails. We want peace as much as pacifists, we just see a different path to that goal. For these reasons, why aren’t those in the military who have the most to lose through military violence given a place at the pacifist table?

If the denomination wants to become a “peace church” I am comfortable with that decision provided that there is an honest discussion where all viewpoints are provided a chance to be heard and debated. Additionally, we need to look at the second and third order effects of such a decision. I work in a vibrant young adult ministry full of men (the combat exclusion is still in effect in Marine Infantry) who struggle with the same questions. They are looking for a faith community that will welcome those questions and walk them through the grey area that is war and peace in a world full of sin and evil. Perhaps we can do more to advance a peaceful world through providing a safe place for such balanced and compassionate discussion rather than a one-sided view of the complexities of peace and violence in a broken world full of broken people.

What Happened to Laughing at Ourselves?

It's been a while since I've been on here due to work, writing some other things that may or may not ever see the light of day in publishing and my newest military education class (200+ pages of reading a week). So, this post may seem a bit outdated as it stems from some reactions to a wonderful bit of satire posted by the devious minds over at a site called The Duffel Blog. If you have any connection with the military, I highly suggest going over there and poking around to lighten your day (warning, there are many posts that may offend).

Right after the election The Duffel Blog posted an article regarding how hundreds of thousands of absentee ballots were lost in transit and, if they had made it stateside on time, would have swung the election for Romney. Now, if you read the article and have any experience with the wonderful military postal system you understand what the author is trying to get across. It's not about the election, but about how everything that he discussed delaying the ballots actually occurs in delivering our mail while overseas. I know of one person who received mail from a prior deployment at sea a year later on his second deployment on our ship (it just stayed in the military mail system until our FPO reactivated) and I was still receiving care packages that went to Afghanistan and came to Camp Lejeune 6 months after we returned and 8 months after our mail address was cut off. It took 8 months for those packages to get to AFG and back to us.

But, back to the point. Take a look at the comments at the bottom of that article. Over 500 comments on Facebook about the article. Most of the comments are from people who took the article seriously and many of those have no military experience whatsoever. Some even blame the President for conspiring to suppress the military vote (not what happens at all). They didn't even take the time to check where they were getting their facts from (a satire website) nor did they listen when people told them it was a joke (those people are raging liberals conspiring with the administration to steal an election). What in the world is going wrong with us?

We have forgotten how to laugh at ourselves. Satire is there to show us how absurd we make things and to point out flaws in our thinking and the way we live. It does it in such a manner to make the situation humorous so as to dull the edge of the critique. Done well, it seems like real news hence the popularity of The Onion and The Duffel Blog (at least within the military world). Most young people get their "news" from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and take it at face value as a real news organization when, in fact, they are mocking what news has become in the last 20 years. I would even postulate they are poking fun at people for using them as a news source and treating them as such by asking them to check and verify sources.

Unfortunately, the art of satire is lost when we don't understand where the critique belongs. If we don't pay attention to society and the news and how it affects us, we can't comprehend how funny and absurd life can become. It's almost like going to a comedy show and instead of laughing we are there to pick a fight with the comedian and the half of the audience we don't like. Are we really that sensitive that any bit of humor used to point out a flaw in ourselves or society is the worst injury we can fathom? Do we have to lash out with vile attacks in response to a humorous attempt to make us and society reflect on a problem we all face and take part in? The Court Jester was one who could tell the ruler he/she was doing something stupid and down a wrong path. The Jester could do this because the fool was the wise one who corrected things. By poking fun at something, the King/Queen could see the folly in a humorous manner without having to endure the appearance of insubordination. We need people who engage in satire and play the wise fool because they are more prophetic than we can imagine.

So next time you see someone engaging in good satire trying to change something enjoy the laugh, find out what they are critiquing and then determine if it is something you can change in yourself or in the world around you. Comments like the one about the above article don't solve anything, just make you look dour and uninformed.

Remembering a Fallen Deadwalker (Part 2)

Unfortunately, we lost another stellar Marine to a tragic accident a few weeks ago and yesterday we held the memorial service to remember and honor Sgt. Davis' life. I had the pleasure to get to know him fairly well during the workup and deployment as he was the CO's bodyguard and we rode with them frequently as part of training and while in country. For those who are part of the 1/9 family and couldn't make it, I have posted my remarks below.

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         We can’t take away your loss and many of us can’t comprehend what you have been through the last few weeks. What we all know, and what these Marines have expressed today is that Davis was a good man and he is missed. Death always leaves a mark, especially when the life of a good Marine, a good man is tragically cut short. Like many of us in this room, you have asked the question why? Why did a man who was larger than life, literally and figuratively have to die so young? Why is someone who looked indestructible not with us today? And this is a question those of us who loved Davis will ask throughout our lives as we reflect on the past few weeks. I stand here before you to tell you I have no idea why this happened and we won’t understand why in our lifetime. So, please don’t get frustrated if you don’t find a satisfactory answer to why your dad isn’t here anymore. People who mean well will try and come up with elaborate explanations as to why your dad isn’t here to play catch with you and see you off to school in a few years. They don’t know. I don’t know either, so I’m not going to stand here and fill your head with theories and speculation.

Let’s focus on what we know about death. It leaves a mark and we can’t take it back. Eventually the grieving is over, even if the hole in our heart remains, we start to live out the new normal without Davis. Your dad’s life gives us many clues as to how to life a full and wonderful life. A few years ago, a Marine General started using a saying to describe the Marines he led: “No better friend, no worse enemy.” General Mattis was either telling everyone to be like Davis, or Davis decided to embrace that saying as his life’s motto.

We train Marines to be feared, and Davis was a scary man. The first time I met him, I was intimidated. Built like a NFL linebacker, he recently bench pressed 500 pounds! Our previous CO selected him as his personal bodyguard just because of his physical presence. And it worked. People naturally backed away from Davis in his full battle rattle. You didn’t want to get on his bad side, much less have him as an enemy. But, it wasn’t his physical presence that set him apart and made him a Marine’s Marine. There are many people who wear the uniform that can be mean and intimidating and can mold themselves into a physical presence. What set Davis apart was the way he embraced the first part of General Mattis’ saying.

No better friend. In the aftermath of his death, I remember so many people commenting on how Davis was their best friend. It seemed like that was the line to describe him because he was a good friend to so many people. He had a smile that would light up the room and really was a teddy bear, but don’t tell him I called him that. He mentored junior Marines and Sailors in such a way they didn’t know they were being mentored until they thought about it. He took my assistant under his wing and helped shape him into a respected leader and for that I am eternally grateful.

Davis struck the perfect balance between trained warrior and gentle giant. That is his legacy and if we strive to become Davis in that way, we honor his life and spread his legacy for generations to come. Because of his gentle nature, I think its ok for me to quote a song from Broadway in talking about him. In the show Wicked, there is a song called “For Good” that I think gets at the legacy Davis leaves not just among the Walking Dead, but across the Corps. “I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them. It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part so much of me is made from what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now, whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine by being my friend... Because I knew you... I have been changed for good...”

Davis demonstrates why General Mattis made no better friend the beginning of the saying. That part of being a Marine is the most important because on days like today we need friends to support us and get us back into the fight. Davis changed lives for good. He made people better for a lifetime. Look around, his legacy surrounds you and they stand ready to help you conquer whatever challenges you face. For everyone, if we work towards living into his legacy we won’t have time to ask why he’s gone because we’ll be too busy telling the amazing story of Preston J. Davis.

Rest easy Preston, we have the watch.

11 Years Later

Today was eerily similar to 11 years ago: clear beautiful blue sky with hardly any clouds, cool fall like temperatures, going to work in the morning doing my part to prepare people in the military for anything that would come their way. 11 years ago I was teaching future nuclear officers how to operate a Naval Reactor when the planes first hit. Today I am a chaplain serving a USMC infantry battalion who deployed to Afghanistan last year. Most of my Marines were young on September 11th, and have a different perspective than someone who was in his 20's when it happened. They joined the military during a prolonged conflict, I prayed we'd never have to go to war during my time as it is a horrible prospect. Horror came to us and we were afraid and confused. A day much like December 7th or June 6th I don't think Americans will ever forget and we do need to remember, but after reading some posts on Facebook and Twitter today, maybe we can begin to forgive.

I rarely posts my sermons for all to read because I believe sermons are crafted for a specific audience at a specific time. However, I read my sermon from last year in Afghanistan given on September 11th to Marines, Sailors and civilian contractors in a war zone using passages from the lectionary that resonated with the day (and the lectionary was written many years before 9/11). So I decided to share this a my contribution to the sea of reflections we are reading and hearing today. (It may read a bit choppy as it is a combination of notes and prose)

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Matthew 18:21-35

“Forgiveness is Hard”

11 September 2011 Field Services

What a day to talk about forgiveness! Sometimes the lectionary really resonates with the day. 10 years ago the world changed for all of us. 10 years ago set the stage for us to be here today.

10 years ago was a hard day. I remember where I was, but what I really remember was frantically trying to find out what happened with an old shipmate of mine who was working in the Pentagon. Called him, no answer. Called his wife, frantic mess. Vengance wasn’t on my mind, nor was forgiveness.

Can we forgive an event like 9/11? An event forever associated with a date, that is a rare thing in our country. It and July 4^th. Both world changing dates. Can we do what Jesus talks about and forgive those who attack us from nowhere?

Jesus tells us we should. There is no way around it reading this passage. And if we try to skimp out on giving the forgiveness and grace God gave us it does not do much for us as seen by the landowners reaction.

Look at the gospel for today. We continue the 77 times forgiven from last week showing us that our grace should be as limitless a Christ’s. Jesus knows we won’t like it so he tells a story about it. A guy owes 10,000 talents. A talent is 15 years of wages for the common laborer. The owner calls the debt in and the man can’t pay so off to jail with him and his family. He pleads his case and is forgiven the equivalent of 150,000 years of wages.

So what does he do? Go out and celebrate and share the grace and love? No he goes out and puts a guy in jail for 100 denari or about 100 days of wages. The owner gets pissed and has the man tortured. And Jesus ends the passage saying, “So my heavenly father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

It’s time to forgive. It’s time to release ourselves from the power of sin against us. We can’t change the hurt. We can’t make it go away. But we can take its power. When we forgive someone for what they have done, no matter how small or large we free ourselves from that person and the power their sin holds over us.

Holding a grudge eats away at us. The person who wronged us still holds the cards and is still affecting our lives in a direct and dangerous way. If we let it continue, over time it takes over our thoughts and starts to affect everything we do.

Forgiving, takes that power away. The person’s actions no longer rule our lives. They no longer are there in everything we do. Forgiving opens space for God to come in and fill that void. It allows God a bit more power and room in our lives. Forgiveness allows beauty to come where there was darkness and destruction.

We think we have to forget when we forgive. We can’t forget certain events in our lives. I’m not even sure God wants us to forget our trauma. Everything that happens to us, with us and through us makes us who we are today. It is our story and we can’t rewrite the page once the ink is dry.

Forgiving allows us to begin the process of incorporating a trauma into our lives. Forgiveness shows us that the individual or event doesn’t have power over us. Once we get out from under that power we are free to live a full life in God’s grace and give that to others.

We have to put 9/11 in this context as Christians. It’s hard and that is why we tend to look for answers other than forgiveness. Maybe we don’t easily forgive because we equate it with forgetting. But forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiveness is release for us.

Many of us are here today because of one clear Tuesday morning in September. We have to forgive what happened that day to allow God’s work to shine through our lives. We have to forgive to help the people out here who need our help. Forgiveness prevents vengeance. We have to forgive to let beauty come out of the ashes of the towers and Pentagon. Forgiving those who started this chain of events is the only way we can honor what happened 10 years ago. Seeking vengeance doesn’t change the world. Vengeance doesn’t honor the dead. Seeking beauty does. And the beauty to come from 9/11 starts with forgiveness. 

I don't think we need to forget, because us humans need reminders of the dangers of war. But, I think it is time for us to forgive. I know this isn't hard, as my friend and colleague in the Army Mel Baars states so well in this article. As the US role in these conflicts winds down, it is my prayer that as the distance grows from such a tragic day, so does our forgiveness. 

Remembering A Fallen Deadwalker

This is for all of the 1/9 family who were unable to make it to the memorial service this morning where we remembered the life of Corporal Kevin Dabrowski. Kevin died in a tragic car accident in South Carolina two weeks ago and is survived by his two year old son. Today was a day of telling stories of an outstanding Marine who affected the lives of many people throughout the battalion. Our goal was to tell the story of this Marine so his son would know who his father was as he gets older and begins to ask questions. I won't post the reflections by the other speakers today as they can send those into the ether on their own, but I wanted to post my short reflection on how his son and the rest of the battalion can honor Kevin's life going forward.

Today you have heard people describe who your father was and what he meant to them. At this moment you are too young to fully comprehend what these men were talking about, but you know that your father isn’t around anymore. You realize something is missing in your life, something that means a lot and you are probably having trouble telling everyone what is missing. As you get older and can understand what these Marines said today you will begin asking the questions your teachers say are important; Who, What, When, Where, Why and How? There are concrete details in the official reports of your father’s death that will answer the What, When and Where. We are recording this service today to help you answer Who your dad was. That leaves the two most difficult questions; Why and How?

All of us in this room have asked the question why did Kevin die? Why were you on that road at that exact moment? Why did we lose such a young, outstanding Marine with a bright future ahead? Asking is how we try and make sense of tragedy. Those who were close to Kevin will ask that question many times over the course of their life. And I am here to say that we will probably never know the answer to that question in our lifetime. So, please don’t get frustrated if you don’t find a satisfactory answer to why your dad isn’t here anymore. Despite what people may try and tell you, I’m here to say there isn’t a good answer. I don’t have one either, so I’m not going to stand here and fill your head with theories and speculation.

So, let’s focus on the last question, the how. And not how did Kevin die, but how do we live out his legacy? How do we honor Corporal Kevin Dabrowski as we go forward with our lives? One place to start is to embrace the positive characteristics of his life that made a profound impact on the lives of others. Your mother, your grandparents and those Marines here can help you learn more about what a difference he made in their lives. Listen to the stories they tell of him, stories of practical jokes he played on his fellow Marines, stories of his dedication to spend time with you despite the challenge of distance and time.

These are all stories of how to live a life that honors your father. Not all of those stories will make sense. Many will not have a clear lesson when you first hear them. But, collect and treasure those stories because as you hear more and piece them together you will learn how to honor your father. From these stories you will learn how to live a life of dedication to others, caring for those whom you lead, living a life of joy. Whenever you get stuck trying to answer the question of why your dad isn’t here, remember the stories of you father and focus on how to live a life that honors him.

           Over the past few weeks, this event has helped me to see a deeper meaning to the song “Awake My Soul” written by Mumford and Sons. The lyrics include, “Now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know…Lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all…In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” Don’t let your heart stumble on the why, death happens to us all. Grab the hands of the Marines around you, they stand ready to help you conquer every challenge you may face. Your father invested his love in you and the Marines here today. They want to honor Kevin’s life through investing their love in your life. Just like this song, your father’s investment in love will pay dividends in many lives for decades to come.

Rest easy Marine, we have the watch!