Three Years Later

Three years ago is a night that is seared in my memory not only for the tragedy, but also for the heroism of some Corpsmen as well as the amazing ability of Marines and Sailors to care for each other and the families of those with whom they serve. While it was the worst single night of my career, the aftermath is probably one of the most rewarding experiences of my life in seeing just what it means to love others.

Ripp, Josh, Joshua, Billy, Rog, Mason, and David you are not forgotten, you are the Walking Dead. Di Bo Chet!

Here are my thoughts from the first anniversary here on this space:

Personally, I am grateful for not having any night vision goggles that night. If I had some I would have been down range following my Marines and would have been close enough to the blast that at a minimum I would have spent some time in the hospital. The individual with whom I ran the two previous day range events was seriously injured and I was always within arms reach of him.

I learned what secondary trauma looks and feels like. I wasn't on the hill, but I can tell you exactly what it looked like, what it smelled like and what happened in all of its tragic detail. I learned just how surreal it is to know the full story and less than 12 hours later seeing CNN leading the news talking about and making some crazy guesses about what happened.

I miss Josh, Billy, Ripp, Mason, Joshua, David and Rog. We all do. They were good men. Their families raised them right and were so gracious and loving towards us as we all grieved together at many funerals over the span of a week.

But, what I didn't expect was to find so much beauty in the midst of all that carnage. I saw bravery and heroism that we don't speak much of in peacetime and training. There are Marines and Sailors that are here who wouldn't have made it without the quick thinking of those on the scene and due to the amazing leadership and training of the Battalion Surgeon.

I saw communities pour out their hearts for their lost sons and welcome their brothers in arms as if we had grown up right alongside them. I saw people lining a highway for 50 miles to honor someone they never met, people pulling over to the side of the road just to nod to those of us in a long processional. I saw a funeral crowd for a Lance Corporal that surprised and briefly overwhelmed the staff at Arlington.

That night and the events that followed impacted me and made me a better chaplain, a better minister and a better person.

I leave you with the memorial remarks at the two memorial services; one at Bridgeport and one at Camp Lejeune.  

Two Years Ago

I wasn't really aware of how long it has been since I posted something here until I got on to post something about that night two years ago in Hawthorne, NV. Guess I need to pay more attention when I am actually in port and not on a government computer and able to post.

Anyway, today was a special day not just because it is a day in which all of the Deadwalkers from 1/9 remember our seven brothers lost in a mortar explosion. Today, one of the Corpsmen from that night was awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for his bravery and actions that night. This is the highest award for heroism displayed in peacetime.

On that night, Ian was severely injured by the blast. So much so that he is still recovering from his wounds and has endured multiple surgeries to rebuild his face. Despite his significantly more severe injuries, he repeatedly waved off efforts of others to assist him directing them to his injured Marines. If fact, his airway was blocked and he intubated himself to open the airway, thus saving his own life. I can't even imagine enduring his trauma, much less having the clarity of mind to perform a life saving technique on anyone, including myself.

I didn't get to speak with him that night as he was one of eight Marines and Sailors airlifted to Reno, NV for treatment. However, I was able to speak with him a few days later when he was in between a few surgeries. I walked into his room to check on how he was doing and if there was anything he needed from me or anyone else. Before I could finish saying hello, he had written on a sheet of paper. How are you doing? Corpsman to the core of his being.

The next time I visited two days later, he had an iPad and was rapidly communicating via technology and had been contacted by one of his heroes. Ian, like myself, is from the Triangle and WRAL had done a story on him and alluded to his actions and it came up that he was a huge Duke fan (of course this sat well with his Duke graduate chaplain). Well, Coach K got word of this and personally called Ian's hospital room and spoke with him for a few minutes and promised him the game ball from their upcoming NCAA tournament game and I think also provided him a jersey from that game as well. Small tributes for a outsized man.

I am glad I get to know and work with men and women such as this Devil Doc. He is a Deadwalker to the core.

I got to see photos of him receiving his medal today and am proud of him and his progress towards a full recovery.

One Year Later

This is a time of year when many people are recovering from their celebration of St Patrick last night. However, this time of year is one of reflection for me and many other Marines and Sailors who were with the Walking Dead in Hawthorne, NV.

Personally, I am grateful for not having any night vision goggles that night. If I had some I would have been down range following my Marines and would have been close enough to the blast that at a minimum I would have spent some time in the hospital. The individual with whom I ran the two previous day range events was seriously injured and I was always within arms reach of him.

I learned what secondary trauma looks and feels like. I wasn't on the hill, but I can tell you exactly what it looked like, what it smelled like and what happened in all of its tragic detail. I learned just how surreal it is to know the full story and less than 12 hours later seeing CNN leading the news talking about and making some crazy guesses about what happened.

I miss Josh, Billy, Ripp, Mason, Joshua, David and Rog. We all do. They were good men. Their families raised them right and were so gracious and loving towards us as we all grieved together at many funerals over the span of a week.

But, what I didn't expect was to find so much beauty in the midst of all that carnage. I saw bravery and heroism that we don't speak much of in peacetime and training. There are Marines and Sailors that are here who wouldn't have made it without the quick thinking of those on the scene and due to the amazing leadership and training of the Battalion Surgeon.

I saw communities pour out their hearts for their lost sons and welcome their brothers in arms as if we had grown up right alongside them. I saw people lining a highway for 50 miles to honor someone they never met, people pulling over to the side of the road just to nod to those of us in a long processional. I saw a funeral crowd for a Lance Corporal that surprised and briefly overwhelmed the staff at Arlington.

That night and the events that followed impacted me and made me a better chaplain, a better minister and a better person.

I leave you with the memorial remarks at the two memorial services; one at Bridgeport and one at Camp Lejeune.  

Faith and Leadership

This is the link to a reflection piece I wrote following the tragedy in Hawthorne, NV:

http://www.faithandleadership.com/content/russ-ferguson-beauty-the-midst-chaos-and-carnage

Bridgeport Memorial Service

We held a memorial service out at Bridgeport, CA a few days after the accident that took the lives of seven of our Marines. Due to the lack of computer time, I had to write out my comments and as tends to happen Mr. Murphy showed up and the motivated Marines that immediately returned the podium to its rightful place removed my notes with said podium. So I had to wait for the DVD to transcribe what I said that evening and today with NMCI down for the count I had the opportunity to listen and type at the same time. Below is what I said in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy and sets the stage for what I said last week at the public memorial service. I publish these remarks today as the families of 1/9 were not afforded the opportunity to attend this service and may never get their hands on one of the DVDs.

What now? Other than why, that is probably the most frequent question I hear and the one that is probably the most prominent on the mind of everyone in this hangar. Where do we go from here? What do we do? What do we say to our friends, the families, to each other? This is my take. We get through this and we go on together. But that is easier said than done. So, what now?

First, we remember. We come together tonight and hear stories that remind us of the treasures that we lost. We go to an airport and help our brothers start their long journey home. We laugh and joke about them over a beer. But we must remember that we can never drink Monday night away. It will always be with us so we remember together than to attempt to forget alone. We also need to remember the heroic acts of people sitting with us tonight and people in hospital rooms in Reno. They saved lives.

We heal together. Remembering allows space for our emotions to run. Talking together eases our pain and soothes the wounds. You do not need me or the OSCAR to heal. But if you need to talk with one of us, I am always here for you. As the pain fades, we can acknowledge what happened and then we can see the moments of beauty among the chaos and carnage. I knew this battalion had started to heal at about 1300 on Tuesday. When I saw a crowd gathering and I thought it was the First Sergeants giving a brief about the movement plan to get on the buses. As I walked up I saw it wasn’t a First Sergeant led brief, actually no one was talking. People were walking up and putting stuff on the hillside. As I got closer I saw that the 81’s platoon had started a memorial of rocks they had written on. By the time I got there people were putting their ranks on the memorial. I have told everyone that at that moment, I knew we were going to get through this together. This kind of healing lets us tell the stories of Ripp, Josh, Joshua, Rog, David, Mason and Billy.

And we live. We honor our fallen by living a full and vibrant life. WE let their stories meld into our stories and we carry on their dreams. WE make their families ours and incorporate them into our lives. We don’t let defeat us. We show death that it is not worth being our enemy. Because life is our friend. Death pisses us off, so we fight death by helping others to live it. Live the life those we send off on the angel flight wants us to live. If that guides us the memory of Josh, Joshua, Mason, Rog, David, Billy and Ripp will never be forgotten.

Remembering Seven Fallen Brothers

Yesterday morning we held a memorial service at Camp Lejeune for the seven Marines we lost in a mortar explosion while training in Hawthorne, NV. For all the 1/9 families and friends that were unable to attend, as is my tradition (which I really would like to never have to do), here are my remarks from the service:

Five weeks ago, our lives changed forever. Nothing can change that. Nothing can erase that day. It was a night of chaos and carnage that gave way to a day of beauty and courage. I don’t want to forget that night, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. We owe it to Ripp, Josh, Joshua, Billy, Rog, Mason and David to remember that night. But, we owe it to them to remember not just the tragic but also the good and heroic. And what better way to honor the events of March 18^th and the men of Hawthorne than to reflect on what it means to be a Deadwalker.

Most normal people would recoil at the prospect of joining an organization nicknamed the Walking Dead. That or they would think it’s just a fan club of the TV show where they could hunt zombies. Like many of you, when I received word I was coming to 1/9 I went to the two sources of all information, Google and Wikipedia, to learn the history of my new unit. After reading the history of the unit and discovering the unit called themselves the Walking Dead, I found the name a bit morbid and chalked it and the Grim Reaper logo up to the infantry obsession with skulls. And two years ago, like many outside our unit, I would have thought it odd to call someone a good Deadwalker. But, after March 18^th we know there is honor and deep meaning in wearing the title of Deadwalker.

So what does it mean to lay claim to the name Deadwalker? What sets us apart from other people? Other units? For the guests who aren’t familiar with the unit’s history, our name came from the time those who walked before us spent in Vietnam. After a particularly difficult and brutal battle we had suffered the worst day for the Corps in Vietnam both in sheer numbers and in percentage of casualties. One Viet Cong General reportedly stated that we were never going to win and were essentially walking towards our death and burial and called us the Walking Dead. That nickname was even broadcast over Vietnamese propaganda radio by the infamous Hanoi Hanna encouraging us to go ahead and die. We embraced that name, but not in the way they expected. They had no clue what made up a member of the Walking Dead. Even death itself cannot defeat a Deadwalker.

          

Today we remember seven men who embodied everything it means to be a part of the Walking Dead. As you have heard from many others today, these seven Marines weren’t just great Marines, they were outstanding young men who had much to offer the world. They had already made a positive difference here in the unit as well as their communities back home. These men looked death in the face on the night of March 18^th and just grinned because they knew death wasn’t getting the final say in their lives.

        

Death will always lose when it is up against infantry Marines that are willing to argue with each other that they are the best potential date for Taylor Swift. Death doesn’t stand a chance against the sarcasm of these Marines. Death’s darkness can’t overcome the illuminating smiles and powerful sense of humor of these men. Death can’t bully men who refuse to succumb to peer pressure. Death can’t recover from men who will do anything to save their brothers and put others above their own safety in a time of need. Death’s grip isn’t strong enough to compete against the beauty of a simple memorial of rocks and chevrons created by brothers in arms. The fear of death will always be overwhelmed by lives that inspire thousands of people in communities around this country to come out and pay respects to their fallen sons. 

Men such as these change lives for good and are the shoulders that the Corps stands upon. We take men such as these for granted because we expect great things from them. Men like Ripp, Joshua, Rog, Billy, Josh, David and Mason defeat death because they show us how to live. Their bodies are buried, but their lives will continue on and their impact will multiply as we live lives that honor the way in which they changed our lives for good. 

We call this battalion the Walking Dead and the men Deadwalkers not because they are walking around awaiting death or because of a morbid sense of humor. No, we call ourselves Deadwalkers because we walk through death with no fear. We show death it is nothing in the face of such men. Time and again, death has tried to defeat this battalion. Time and again, death has lost because we live lives inspired by men such as Josh, Billy, Mason, Joshua, Ripp, David and Rog. Lives that inspire others to live well. Lives that death can’t extinguish. So the next time the Battalion Commander ends a formation with his familiar call and response, don’t look at it as cheesy false motivation. Answer his call with pride that you are part of this storied unit and that you are willing to honor the lives of these seven and all those before you who proudly bear the name Deadwalker. 

And here is a photo of the memorial that I alluded to in the remarks:

Arlington

I had the privilege yesterday of performing a burial at Arlington National Cemetery for one of my Marines who was killed in Hawthorne, NV on March 18th. I had hoped to never be called on to perform such a task, but sometimes we don't get exactly what we want. Below are the remarks that I made. I would have posted the memorial service remarks from Bridgeport, but I didn't type those up and lost my notes so I'll post them once I can transcribe from the DVD.

Today we gather on sacred and hallowed ground with heavy hearts to remember the life of a great Marine, but more importantly the life of an outstanding young man. It will take time for us to comprehend that Taylor is gone. But we can find a measure of solace in the fact that Taylor led a good life and embodied the spirit that earned his unit the nickname of the Walking Dead. It may seem odd to call someone a good Deadwalker, but I think after the events of two weeks ago we better understand what it means to claim the title of Deadwalker.

The Vietnamese claimed that our battalion was dead and awaiting burial, so they called us the Walking Dead. Unfortunately they didn’t know what made up a member of the Walking Dead. Even death cannot defeat us or stop us from making a difference in this world. Billy’s life and the way he had a positive effect on all those around him prove that death didn’t get the final say so on the 18^th of March.

Death just can’t defeat an infantryman that is willing to vehemently argue that Taylor Swift would choose him over any other Marine. Death can’t win against someone who begrudgingly accepted being called Billy, a name he couldn’t stand, because his brothers in arms gave him that name. Death has no chance to outlast the legacy of someone who conquered three deployments and three weeks on the mountain at Bridgeport. Death can’t claim victory over someone whose smile and love of life were infectious to all who encountered him. Death has no chance to outlast the legacy of a man like Taylor.

Men such as Taylor change lives for the better and are what the legend and lore of the corps are built upon. Marines like Taylor, lead and shape lives in ways they never realize in life. Only upon their death do we begin to see the full impact of their actions on the lives of their brothers and every person they have known. We take men like Taylor for granted because we expect great things from men such as him and in his absence we see the effect he had on our lives. Men like Taylor defeat death because they show us how to live. Today we bury his body, but we will never bury his life because that will continue to live on and multiply in the lives of those he changed for good.

Remembering a Fallen Deadwalker (Part 2)

Unfortunately, we lost another stellar Marine to a tragic accident a few weeks ago and yesterday we held the memorial service to remember and honor Sgt. Davis' life. I had the pleasure to get to know him fairly well during the workup and deployment as he was the CO's bodyguard and we rode with them frequently as part of training and while in country. For those who are part of the 1/9 family and couldn't make it, I have posted my remarks below.

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         We can’t take away your loss and many of us can’t comprehend what you have been through the last few weeks. What we all know, and what these Marines have expressed today is that Davis was a good man and he is missed. Death always leaves a mark, especially when the life of a good Marine, a good man is tragically cut short. Like many of us in this room, you have asked the question why? Why did a man who was larger than life, literally and figuratively have to die so young? Why is someone who looked indestructible not with us today? And this is a question those of us who loved Davis will ask throughout our lives as we reflect on the past few weeks. I stand here before you to tell you I have no idea why this happened and we won’t understand why in our lifetime. So, please don’t get frustrated if you don’t find a satisfactory answer to why your dad isn’t here anymore. People who mean well will try and come up with elaborate explanations as to why your dad isn’t here to play catch with you and see you off to school in a few years. They don’t know. I don’t know either, so I’m not going to stand here and fill your head with theories and speculation.

Let’s focus on what we know about death. It leaves a mark and we can’t take it back. Eventually the grieving is over, even if the hole in our heart remains, we start to live out the new normal without Davis. Your dad’s life gives us many clues as to how to life a full and wonderful life. A few years ago, a Marine General started using a saying to describe the Marines he led: “No better friend, no worse enemy.” General Mattis was either telling everyone to be like Davis, or Davis decided to embrace that saying as his life’s motto.

We train Marines to be feared, and Davis was a scary man. The first time I met him, I was intimidated. Built like a NFL linebacker, he recently bench pressed 500 pounds! Our previous CO selected him as his personal bodyguard just because of his physical presence. And it worked. People naturally backed away from Davis in his full battle rattle. You didn’t want to get on his bad side, much less have him as an enemy. But, it wasn’t his physical presence that set him apart and made him a Marine’s Marine. There are many people who wear the uniform that can be mean and intimidating and can mold themselves into a physical presence. What set Davis apart was the way he embraced the first part of General Mattis’ saying.

No better friend. In the aftermath of his death, I remember so many people commenting on how Davis was their best friend. It seemed like that was the line to describe him because he was a good friend to so many people. He had a smile that would light up the room and really was a teddy bear, but don’t tell him I called him that. He mentored junior Marines and Sailors in such a way they didn’t know they were being mentored until they thought about it. He took my assistant under his wing and helped shape him into a respected leader and for that I am eternally grateful.

Davis struck the perfect balance between trained warrior and gentle giant. That is his legacy and if we strive to become Davis in that way, we honor his life and spread his legacy for generations to come. Because of his gentle nature, I think its ok for me to quote a song from Broadway in talking about him. In the show Wicked, there is a song called “For Good” that I think gets at the legacy Davis leaves not just among the Walking Dead, but across the Corps. “I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them. It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part so much of me is made from what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now, whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine by being my friend... Because I knew you... I have been changed for good...”

Davis demonstrates why General Mattis made no better friend the beginning of the saying. That part of being a Marine is the most important because on days like today we need friends to support us and get us back into the fight. Davis changed lives for good. He made people better for a lifetime. Look around, his legacy surrounds you and they stand ready to help you conquer whatever challenges you face. For everyone, if we work towards living into his legacy we won’t have time to ask why he’s gone because we’ll be too busy telling the amazing story of Preston J. Davis.

Rest easy Preston, we have the watch.

Remembering A Fallen Deadwalker

This is for all of the 1/9 family who were unable to make it to the memorial service this morning where we remembered the life of Corporal Kevin Dabrowski. Kevin died in a tragic car accident in South Carolina two weeks ago and is survived by his two year old son. Today was a day of telling stories of an outstanding Marine who affected the lives of many people throughout the battalion. Our goal was to tell the story of this Marine so his son would know who his father was as he gets older and begins to ask questions. I won't post the reflections by the other speakers today as they can send those into the ether on their own, but I wanted to post my short reflection on how his son and the rest of the battalion can honor Kevin's life going forward.

Today you have heard people describe who your father was and what he meant to them. At this moment you are too young to fully comprehend what these men were talking about, but you know that your father isn’t around anymore. You realize something is missing in your life, something that means a lot and you are probably having trouble telling everyone what is missing. As you get older and can understand what these Marines said today you will begin asking the questions your teachers say are important; Who, What, When, Where, Why and How? There are concrete details in the official reports of your father’s death that will answer the What, When and Where. We are recording this service today to help you answer Who your dad was. That leaves the two most difficult questions; Why and How?

All of us in this room have asked the question why did Kevin die? Why were you on that road at that exact moment? Why did we lose such a young, outstanding Marine with a bright future ahead? Asking is how we try and make sense of tragedy. Those who were close to Kevin will ask that question many times over the course of their life. And I am here to say that we will probably never know the answer to that question in our lifetime. So, please don’t get frustrated if you don’t find a satisfactory answer to why your dad isn’t here anymore. Despite what people may try and tell you, I’m here to say there isn’t a good answer. I don’t have one either, so I’m not going to stand here and fill your head with theories and speculation.

So, let’s focus on the last question, the how. And not how did Kevin die, but how do we live out his legacy? How do we honor Corporal Kevin Dabrowski as we go forward with our lives? One place to start is to embrace the positive characteristics of his life that made a profound impact on the lives of others. Your mother, your grandparents and those Marines here can help you learn more about what a difference he made in their lives. Listen to the stories they tell of him, stories of practical jokes he played on his fellow Marines, stories of his dedication to spend time with you despite the challenge of distance and time.

These are all stories of how to live a life that honors your father. Not all of those stories will make sense. Many will not have a clear lesson when you first hear them. But, collect and treasure those stories because as you hear more and piece them together you will learn how to honor your father. From these stories you will learn how to live a life of dedication to others, caring for those whom you lead, living a life of joy. Whenever you get stuck trying to answer the question of why your dad isn’t here, remember the stories of you father and focus on how to live a life that honors him.

           Over the past few weeks, this event has helped me to see a deeper meaning to the song “Awake My Soul” written by Mumford and Sons. The lyrics include, “Now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know…Lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all…In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” Don’t let your heart stumble on the why, death happens to us all. Grab the hands of the Marines around you, they stand ready to help you conquer every challenge you may face. Your father invested his love in you and the Marines here today. They want to honor Kevin’s life through investing their love in your life. Just like this song, your father’s investment in love will pay dividends in many lives for decades to come.

Rest easy Marine, we have the watch! 

Why I Love My Job (Part 1)

The last two Fridays are good examples of what I love about ministering to Marines (and specifically Infantry Marines).

Last Friday (April 27th), I had the pleasure of spending my entire day helping out with a local Special Olympics event. I got paid to go and hang out with 300 of my Marines as well as about 500 Special Olympic athletes. We were there to assist in everything from escorting and coaching athletes to parking and serving lunch. I was amazed by the high turnout and interest from the battalion (over 1/3 went) which shows we found something to keep them coming back to help with. The best part was seeing the smiles on the faces of everyone involved and I'm not really sure who was smiling more, the athletes or the Marines. It was great to see the Marines and sailors enjoying the softer side of their job and the biggest reward for me was the number of them who have asked about doing more of this on a regular basis, something the command wants them to do as well.

Two days ago we had the first battalion wide hike since I've been with 1/9. Normally, just companies go out for a hike. But, we have been selected to perform an endurance test to get some evaluative data for the Marine Corps next month and have been doing longer hikes the last two months to get ready for the 12 mile hike next month. The 8 mile hikes were done on a company basis in March but were nothing compared to Friday. It is impressive to see the entire battalion in one line taking up the road and stopping traffic for 5 minutes at a time each intersection we came across. And the ministry opportunity is amazing as I get to walk back and forth talking with Marines and passing out candy as I go along. It sure makes the miles and time pass by quickly and I can't believe I get to minister in such a unique way.

Uncomfortable with Vets

I know it has been a long time since the last post, but I took some much needed time off work after the deployment and am now getting back into the swing of things. Work has returned with a vengeance, but is starting to settle down a bit and I hope to post at least every other week.

One thing I was asked to do at the end of last month was to speak to my Presbytery (they are the governing body of me as a minister) about what I do as a chaplain, how a chaplain ministers in combat and how churches can help out chaplains. I think this blog has covered the first two items over the last few months, mostly in order to provide a glimpse of life in Afghanistan to the families of 1/9, but I haven't really talked about the last item. Reflecting on the topic before the talk, I realized that chaplains really need to take the lead in speaking out on how to care for our service members who are deployed, combat or not. We have a unique inside angle on the spiritual needs of service members and sometimes we allow ourselves to stay fairly isolated from the larger faith community to which we belong. I realized that at times I also fall into this category and have forced myself to keep that from happening.

There is a distinct divide between those who serve and those who don't. I don't hold myself in greater esteem because I serve a unique congregation, but I think faith communities would do a better job supporting chaplains and their "flock" if they knew what we did and if we actually told them what support we needed. Sure, I could just rely on the military programs for helping my Marines and sailors, but I honestly believe that faith communities (regardless of their theology or beliefs) need to take a larger role in caring for those who have served.

Most congregations I have attended during my years on active duty talk about serving the military. But, they do so through care packages and prayer. I'm not discounting the need for these things. Personally, I am convinced the prayers of many people across the country played a role in my entire battalion making it home alive and with all their limbs. We had many close calls that I could never explain why those guys are still here with me today except through some divine plan I don't understand and probably never will. And care packages are vital for morale as they serve as tangible evidence they are not forgotten. Opening those boxes brings many smiles thousands of miles away. I would just ask churches to contact the receiving unit before sending something. When you send without knowing the needs, some stuff may end up in the burn pit.

In reflecting on the idea of what churches can do for those who serve in the military (and this would probably hold true for other groups who avoid church) is to allow themselves to feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable sitting beside someone who may have killed in combat. Combat those in the congregation send into combat by the way. A congregation who is willing to sit with and come alongside that individual as they work out what they saw and did in combat. A congregation willing to enter into the murky and uncomfortable world of ethics in combat, what some have called "ethical warriors" or "noble warriors." A congregation that will listen in love and not judge them because they are in the military. Some may come seeking repentance for what they have seen and done. Some may say they have done nothing wrong. Both of them should be welcomed with open arms into our congregations. We say no sin is too large for God, we need to live that out. These conversations are messy, painful, uncomfortable, unruly. But they are beautiful, healing, at times joyful. I know as I have them on a regular basis and many of those conversations don't deal with combat related issues. I encounter more service members damaged from other aspects of society than their deployment to Afghanistan. Even an atheist in my battalion recognizes the need for somewhere for his young Marines to have these conversations.

Without a healthy and supportive environment to work through this discomfort, my Marines and sailors will seek unhealthy ways to navigate the issues. Chaplains are only in their lives for a short amount of time. I have only been in 1/9 for 16 months and almost half of them will be in other units by April. Churches, synagogues, mosques, etc can offer a stable long-term presence in the lives of my service members. Especially if a denomination embraces this call and no matter where they are stationed they can turn to a specific faith group for a loving community to be there if they are needed. If you are reading this and a member of a faith community I challenge you to go beyond prayer and care packages and invite your vets to discuss what needs they have.

I am more than willing to discuss this with anyone who wants to explore ways to provide such a community, regardless of your faith preference. Just drop me a line or discuss freely in the comments.

What I Will Miss About Afghanistan

I originally planned to sit down and provide the list of things that made Afghanistan a place to visit and what won't ever leave my memory soon after the last post. However, work got busy and I haven't forced myself to sit down and provide the 2nd half of the first post. So here goes:

1) The People: The majority of Afghans I met are amazing people doing their best to survive and really just want people to leave them alone. They are resilient and will thrive if given the chance. It is my prayer that the sliver of freedom they glimpse through our work takes hold and they run with it and design a way of life that works for them while allowing their natural gifts to flourish. I have many memories of conversations over tea with smiles as well as meeting the children when out and about.

2) Children: Regardless of where you go, kids will always be kids. They are the same everywhere. It was so much easier to communicate with them despite the language differences because you just knew what they wanted. They were rarely shy about coming up and interacting with us and their presence really helped most of the guys realize why they were sent 7000 miles from home.

3) The Food: I ate some of the most amazing food I have tasted overseas. While the meals were always pretty much the same of chicken, rice, bread and fruit it was always sumptuous. The spice they use for the chicken is wonderful and the bread is highly sought after with many Marines buying that whenever they had the chance. And the fruit convinced me that local, organic produce is the way to live. The produce came from close by and was grown with natural fertilizer with a taste much better than what I usually obtain in a store.

4) The Marines: Serving as a chaplain in a combat zone is a special honor and I am glad to have been given that responsibility. It was a once in a lifetime chance to really be with the infantry. I can't fully describe the respect and love I have for my Marines and sailors and they will always hold a special place in my heart. They endured so much for each other and for people they didn't really know and I hope the experience changed them in a positive way as much as myself.

There are many other things I will miss, but I don't want to ramble on and on. Plus, I have to work on a presentation for my Presbytery for next weekend. I get to speak to church leaders about what chaplains do and how they can assist us as we minister to service members.

A First Visit With the Press

So, it was a busy week besides the whole Thanksgiving thing. For those that don't have access to my Facebook page, I got interviewed by a USMC Public Affairs Officer a few weeks ago and that video made it onto Armed Forces Network, Youtube, etc. And last Monday night I had an interview with the hometown paper of my parents. I'll include all the links in this post.

This first one is the initial raw video:


The next is the final product:


That led to this interview in the paper:
http://www.heraldsun.com/view/full_story/16540107/article-Thanksgiving-in-Afghanistan-?instance=main_article

So, for those of you who have seen or read the above, I apologize but this is the first time I've been interviewed like this and am taking full advantage of showing off.

And for all the 1/9 families, the guys are really starting to get excited about coming home in the near future. They spend more time smiling than not right now as their excitement and happiness are rising exponentially.

Happy Birthday USMC

As I write this, the birthday has passed but it is still November 10th back home. I have to say that it was an honor to spend a birthday with the USMC in Afghanistan (You can find it on Youtube). No other service puts so much into celebrating who and what they are. The video message produced by the Marine Corps was motivational and, while each of the three cake cutting ceremonies varied slightly each was special and full of motivation and meaning. Most people don't really care about their individual birthdays. I had one out here and let it pass unnoticed. Even most of the sister services don't really mark the day as special when they reach another year in the books. Marines show why Marines are special each day out here, but on November 10th every year regardless of where they are, they remember why they are America's elite service and force in readiness for the President.

I had a great time getting out to see most of the battalion today to wish them a happy birthday and was impressed with the ceremonies. For the families of 1/9 there is a new album on the Facebook page full of photos from today. And for all the veterans out there, Thank You for the proud legacy you have left for those of us who follow you and stand on your shoulders.

Notes From Afghanistan Part 7

It rained yesterday. Not a drizzle type of rain but a full on thunderstorm that continued for most of the morning and has returned again today. We had been told the rainy season begins in December, so the rain was a bit of a surprise, though a pleasant one. One Marine commented on how the rain made everything smell and feel clean around here. I kind of have to agree with him. It smelled and felt like a walk through some woods back home in the springtime. It has left a lot of mud to deal with over the next few days as well as showed us some leaks in the chapel and other buildings and tents. But, it was different and unexpected and it showed us we are close to leaving as the rainy season should signify our exit from Afghanistan.

It was also a means to break the monotony around here. At times it feels like groundhog day. We fall into the same routine day after day and the rain forced us to stay inside a bit more or change our routines in other ways for the day which was a refreshing way to snap us out of our current ruts. Something we could all benefit and learn from as we head back and will get into different ruts and routines back home.

The guys continue to do well out here and are looking forward to going home. That is the #1 topic of conversation during my visits with them. They are dreaming about their first meal upon return to the states and what they plan to do while on post-deployment leave (most have a plan to do nothing for a few days or weeks). I just wonder what they will remember about this deployment.

Notes From Afghanistan Part 6

Again, it has taken a bit of time to actually sit down and update this thing with what is going on out here. If they would only let me access this from a government computer I might actually get to do it more often. But that would take an excuse away from why I am slow at updating. Being stuck at an outlying position waiting for a flight or ride back has given me a decent amount of time so I figured I'd get on an MWR computer and post a quick update.

Since the last post Ramadan has ended and we saw September 11th come and go. Eid out here was interesting with people traveling all over the place and celebratory gunfire from the locals each of the three nights. It was an eye-opening experience to be in a Muslim country for both Ramadan and Eid. And apparently there is another Eid in November which is affectionately known as "Big Eid" from our linguists. I can't imagine how much of a party this one day will be.

RP and I continue to travel around seeing the guys and they are all doing well. We recently attended the "soft opening" of a school out here. I say soft because it seems that we always do some big event twice. The first time a few people show up almost to make sure we really planned on doing what we said when we said. That results in a true event a few days later after the local elder goes out and tells everyone that we mean what we say and will be there. At first I thought it was an issue of mistrust, but I actually think it is ingrained into the culture as often as it happens and as widespread it is across villages and districts out here.

We had another run at the FOB on September 11th in conjunction with the Chicago 1/2 Marathon and 5K. This time 123 people showed up to run a 5K (actually 3.4 miles) that morning and it was enjoyed by all. I am amazed that running in the morning would be such a hit out here and continues to be the thing I arrange that actually draws people out to participate. I think it has something to do with the fact that we get a chance to feel like we are back home for the few minutes that we are running with numbers attached to our chests. Hopefully we can get one more done before we head back home.

Both RP and I are approaching a milestone in that we have our Fleet Marine Force boards scheduled for this week (if we ever get back to the FOB). This is a qualification program to demonstrate we have grasped the many aspects of the USMC mission and its history. It takes quite a while and is a requirement for RP while stationed with a FMF unit and I wanted to get it done to do some in depth learning about what my Marines do, etc. All we need is to get back and make our scheduled boards. A few prayers that we can get back would be appreciated.

Notes From Afghanistan Part 5

I know it has been a while since describing what is going on out here, but we have been busy and the powers that be blocked all the blogger sites on government computers so I had to find time to get to the MWR tent to post. I don't know what made them change their minds, but such is life out here.

Since the last update, RP and I have traveled extensively to the companies to see the guys. We have also hosted a few different chaplains in the area showing them around to show off the Marines and sailors and all the good work they are doing out here. One of the visitors was a Navy chaplain who happens to be Muslim. He was out here for Ramadan. While he was here we got to attend an Iftar meal where they break the fast in the evening. It was great watching a friend live out his faith in a country predominately of his faith. He led the Iftar meal and the prayers that evening. He also was provided the opportunity to talk with the local mullahs and elders about Islam and how he lives out his faith in a pluralistic environment. The local leaders were rapt with attention at what he said and seemed to appreciate him making the visit to Nawa. It was also great for me to catch up with an old friend and see Ramadan from his perspective. It should end in the next few days so I am excited about seeing the national party that will go for about a week out here.

With school coming up, we have been busy getting school supplies ready. RP and I just had a truckload of supplies picked up by the Afghan Army to give out during Eid. They were overwhelmed and surprised with the support from people back in the States to give so generously to the children out here. And, after we gave them all those supplies we got about 15 more boxes worth yesterday. I spent this morning getting those ready for distribution. We'll pass those out next month as we get out in the villages. We also received some soccer balls and stuffed animals for the kids as well.

Well, that is it for now. I have only a few minutes left here at the computer so I am looking forward to another busy month out here with more traveling and being out there with my guys. I can't believe it has already been 3 1/2 months since we left which means we are approaching our half way point. It seems like only yesterday that we got out here. I guess time really does fly when you are having fun. I am actually starting to realize how much I will miss being out here as well as my time deployed with an infantry battalion. I need to figure out how to swing another deployment before they transfer me in 2013.

Care Package Requests for August

Sorry it is almost mid-month again before getting this out. We were busy getting out and about with the Marines, which I love doing as it gets me off the FOB. I have updated this based on what the guys are asking for and what we are running low on.

Care Package Needs July 2011

The ones in bold are especially needed right now


Afghan Children: School starts here in September, so we're trying to get the supplies early
Coloring Books—Culturally appropriate-Animals, etc
Shoes, Sandals, etc
Crayons
Colored Pencils(Solid Wood kind)
Pencils(Solid Wood kind)
Notebooks and Paper
Soccer Balls (Deflated)
Kick balls (Deflated)
Clothing (Winter type to hand out after Ramadan)

Marines:

Socks (Brown, Green, Black, White)
Foot Powder
Razors (We are especially low on these)
Bars of Soap
Single toothbrushes
Horseshoes
Shampoo
Deodorant (Now that it won't completely melt during shipment)
Body Wash
Candy (Jolly Ranchers, Starburst, Werther’s, Twizzlers, BlowPops) This gets to the kids as well
Beef Jerky
Drink Mix (Single packets of Propel, Propel Zero, Crystal Light, Gatorade, Kool Aid, Coffee, Tea, etc)
Baby Wipes
Gum
Chex Mix, Trail Mix
Granola Bars
Sunscreen
Hand Lotion
Food spices, flavorings and condiments
Tuna Packages

Chapel and Chaplain:

Letters from children to decorate the chapel and dining halls
Pancake Mix (Just add water kind only)—Will try to do pancake dinners in the field
Syrup
Chex Mix-Turtle and Honey Nut Flavors

Anything you want to send from the above lists. If I don’t use it, it will get put in the general pot

If anyone can spare the cost of shipping, the guys are really asking about horseshoes. I don't have that many sets and all they really need are the horseshoes, we have plenty of stakes and other items to create the pits for them to play with.

I thank you ahead of time for anything you send and I am truly grateful for everyone who has already sent packages. RP and I try to reply to each group of packages you send, but if we forget to send an email once we get the packages I do apologize as we get pulled in many different directions. The packages are used and appreciated by the Marines and sailors we have in our area.

Mail Any packages to:

Chaplain Russ Ferguson
1/9 H Co S-1
Unit 74095
FPO AE 09510-4095

Thank You

Two thank yous need to be said:

(This is a good example of what we receive in care packages each and every week. Sometimes twice a week.)

First, I haven't said this in a large public manner yet. Many of you who send us care packages get emails expressing our gratitude as I get the information and time to sit down and write. We get anywhere from 15-50 packages a week and it keeps RP quite busy sorting through the packages so we can get the stuff out to the companies as well as keeping track of who is sending us stuff so we know who to write emails to. I mostly write emails back as it takes about 6 weeks for mail to make it back to the states. Some of you I don't have addresses for, so I wanted to take a moment and thank you for everything you provide the Marines and sailors of 1/9. They are never short of toiletries (though not always getting the brands they prefer) or snack food. While we rarely are there when the care package items arrive at the locations, we do know the stuff goes quickly as the large boxes we send (hold about 40-50 large flat rate boxes) are empty by the time we get to the company positions. Please keep the love coming and know that the guys and gals (we have some females attached to us at times) appreciate all you send.

The second thank you is another one to the USO. They do a great job bringing out people to entertain the Marines and sailors. While not every position can benefit from the visits, the fact they are aggressive in getting people out here speaks volumes to their dedication to those deployed out here. This is my fourth deployment (first in a combat zone) and I had not experienced the USO until this one. The first show wasn't really up my alley, but the second trip wasn't even a show. It was John Stewart, David Blaine and Karl Malone showing up to talk with the guys and sign autographs, etc. I was amazed at how attentive each of these individuals were in just sitting down and talking with the guys. Those conversations with people who just two days prior had been in the States made a huge positive impact on the morale of those they met. David Blaine even freaked everyone out with some card tricks and had John Stewart jumping up out of his chair a few times. I am forever grateful for those who support the USO and those celebrities that take of their time to fly out here and just talk with those who are deployed. A special thanks to John Stewart who flew out on a Thursday night/Friday morning, flew back to the States on Sunday and was back at work on Monday. And he gave FOB Geronimo a shout out on the show.

Notes From Afghanistan Part 4

I don't realize just how busy my life is out here until I see how infrequently I am posting and updating people back home. I rarely get a block of time to sit at the computer and compose some thoughts and when I do get a good chunk of time I am usually on Facebook for the sole purpose of posting photos for the families of my Marines and sailors. And on the slow connections we have out here it takes about an hour for every 10-15 photos.

So, it seems I haven't posted in over a month about what is going on out here and the last time I posted while I was at Camp Dwyer for a conference. And as it would happen I am posting again not from Camp Dwyer, but back at Geronimo after the most recent conference I attended. It has been quite a busy month, especially seeing how we have had two other chaplains come out for a visit, one to check in on me and see how I am doing and the other was the Catholic priest to come out and provide mass for the Catholics in the battalion. He did a great job and I received nothing but positive feedback from the guys that attended his services. The priest held 5 services in one day amidst traveling all around the area to visit every company position so all would have a chance to take in a service if possible. It was during that trip, because I was focused on making sure a fellow chaplain could visit all my guys, that I realized just how much chaplains accomplish each day. Plus, I am looking at my calendar for this month and am amazed at the lack of white space due to the travel schedule for myself and the RP.

We finally got out to Alpha Company, who are working for another battalion, and spent a few days there to visit and check in on the guys. Hopefully the schedule allows for that to become a routine monthly occurrence. They, like all the other guys, are doing well and are doing good things in their area though they may not fully appreciate the good they accomplish each day. The companies around here also continue to impress and the other chaplains who visit remark on their spirits and their professionalism.

Part of my job lately has been to provide Ramadan awareness training for all the Marines and sailors, especially as I travel anyways it made sense for me to give that training. I am looking forward to seeing how the Afghans observe the upcoming holy month and am confident that I will learn a great deal about their culture from watching them observe Ramadan. I have already learned a great deal through providing the training and talking with Muslims about the holiday and what all that entails and how it affects them each year. It has been eye opening living so immersed in another culture, it makes me think that I am on less of a deployment and more of a long-term full immersion mission trip. Especially as my eyes have become wide open to the humanitarian need out here.

One thought before I go: I am amazed and humbled by the generosity of the American public. We are constantly receiving care packages in the mail. The last two mail drops have included about 45 packages each time for the general use of the battalion. I am doing all I can to get them out to the companies as soon as we can find space on the convoys because I will run out of room if we don't. For those who have sent stuff, thank you so much as what you send gets to us right as we need those items and it keeps the supply fresh and flowing out to the men.