What Happened to Laughing at Ourselves?

It's been a while since I've been on here due to work, writing some other things that may or may not ever see the light of day in publishing and my newest military education class (200+ pages of reading a week). So, this post may seem a bit outdated as it stems from some reactions to a wonderful bit of satire posted by the devious minds over at a site called The Duffel Blog. If you have any connection with the military, I highly suggest going over there and poking around to lighten your day (warning, there are many posts that may offend).

Right after the election The Duffel Blog posted an article regarding how hundreds of thousands of absentee ballots were lost in transit and, if they had made it stateside on time, would have swung the election for Romney. Now, if you read the article and have any experience with the wonderful military postal system you understand what the author is trying to get across. It's not about the election, but about how everything that he discussed delaying the ballots actually occurs in delivering our mail while overseas. I know of one person who received mail from a prior deployment at sea a year later on his second deployment on our ship (it just stayed in the military mail system until our FPO reactivated) and I was still receiving care packages that went to Afghanistan and came to Camp Lejeune 6 months after we returned and 8 months after our mail address was cut off. It took 8 months for those packages to get to AFG and back to us.

But, back to the point. Take a look at the comments at the bottom of that article. Over 500 comments on Facebook about the article. Most of the comments are from people who took the article seriously and many of those have no military experience whatsoever. Some even blame the President for conspiring to suppress the military vote (not what happens at all). They didn't even take the time to check where they were getting their facts from (a satire website) nor did they listen when people told them it was a joke (those people are raging liberals conspiring with the administration to steal an election). What in the world is going wrong with us?

We have forgotten how to laugh at ourselves. Satire is there to show us how absurd we make things and to point out flaws in our thinking and the way we live. It does it in such a manner to make the situation humorous so as to dull the edge of the critique. Done well, it seems like real news hence the popularity of The Onion and The Duffel Blog (at least within the military world). Most young people get their "news" from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and take it at face value as a real news organization when, in fact, they are mocking what news has become in the last 20 years. I would even postulate they are poking fun at people for using them as a news source and treating them as such by asking them to check and verify sources.

Unfortunately, the art of satire is lost when we don't understand where the critique belongs. If we don't pay attention to society and the news and how it affects us, we can't comprehend how funny and absurd life can become. It's almost like going to a comedy show and instead of laughing we are there to pick a fight with the comedian and the half of the audience we don't like. Are we really that sensitive that any bit of humor used to point out a flaw in ourselves or society is the worst injury we can fathom? Do we have to lash out with vile attacks in response to a humorous attempt to make us and society reflect on a problem we all face and take part in? The Court Jester was one who could tell the ruler he/she was doing something stupid and down a wrong path. The Jester could do this because the fool was the wise one who corrected things. By poking fun at something, the King/Queen could see the folly in a humorous manner without having to endure the appearance of insubordination. We need people who engage in satire and play the wise fool because they are more prophetic than we can imagine.

So next time you see someone engaging in good satire trying to change something enjoy the laugh, find out what they are critiquing and then determine if it is something you can change in yourself or in the world around you. Comments like the one about the above article don't solve anything, just make you look dour and uninformed.

Remembering a Fallen Deadwalker (Part 2)

Unfortunately, we lost another stellar Marine to a tragic accident a few weeks ago and yesterday we held the memorial service to remember and honor Sgt. Davis' life. I had the pleasure to get to know him fairly well during the workup and deployment as he was the CO's bodyguard and we rode with them frequently as part of training and while in country. For those who are part of the 1/9 family and couldn't make it, I have posted my remarks below.

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         We can’t take away your loss and many of us can’t comprehend what you have been through the last few weeks. What we all know, and what these Marines have expressed today is that Davis was a good man and he is missed. Death always leaves a mark, especially when the life of a good Marine, a good man is tragically cut short. Like many of us in this room, you have asked the question why? Why did a man who was larger than life, literally and figuratively have to die so young? Why is someone who looked indestructible not with us today? And this is a question those of us who loved Davis will ask throughout our lives as we reflect on the past few weeks. I stand here before you to tell you I have no idea why this happened and we won’t understand why in our lifetime. So, please don’t get frustrated if you don’t find a satisfactory answer to why your dad isn’t here anymore. People who mean well will try and come up with elaborate explanations as to why your dad isn’t here to play catch with you and see you off to school in a few years. They don’t know. I don’t know either, so I’m not going to stand here and fill your head with theories and speculation.

Let’s focus on what we know about death. It leaves a mark and we can’t take it back. Eventually the grieving is over, even if the hole in our heart remains, we start to live out the new normal without Davis. Your dad’s life gives us many clues as to how to life a full and wonderful life. A few years ago, a Marine General started using a saying to describe the Marines he led: “No better friend, no worse enemy.” General Mattis was either telling everyone to be like Davis, or Davis decided to embrace that saying as his life’s motto.

We train Marines to be feared, and Davis was a scary man. The first time I met him, I was intimidated. Built like a NFL linebacker, he recently bench pressed 500 pounds! Our previous CO selected him as his personal bodyguard just because of his physical presence. And it worked. People naturally backed away from Davis in his full battle rattle. You didn’t want to get on his bad side, much less have him as an enemy. But, it wasn’t his physical presence that set him apart and made him a Marine’s Marine. There are many people who wear the uniform that can be mean and intimidating and can mold themselves into a physical presence. What set Davis apart was the way he embraced the first part of General Mattis’ saying.

No better friend. In the aftermath of his death, I remember so many people commenting on how Davis was their best friend. It seemed like that was the line to describe him because he was a good friend to so many people. He had a smile that would light up the room and really was a teddy bear, but don’t tell him I called him that. He mentored junior Marines and Sailors in such a way they didn’t know they were being mentored until they thought about it. He took my assistant under his wing and helped shape him into a respected leader and for that I am eternally grateful.

Davis struck the perfect balance between trained warrior and gentle giant. That is his legacy and if we strive to become Davis in that way, we honor his life and spread his legacy for generations to come. Because of his gentle nature, I think its ok for me to quote a song from Broadway in talking about him. In the show Wicked, there is a song called “For Good” that I think gets at the legacy Davis leaves not just among the Walking Dead, but across the Corps. “I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them. It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part so much of me is made from what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now, whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine by being my friend... Because I knew you... I have been changed for good...”

Davis demonstrates why General Mattis made no better friend the beginning of the saying. That part of being a Marine is the most important because on days like today we need friends to support us and get us back into the fight. Davis changed lives for good. He made people better for a lifetime. Look around, his legacy surrounds you and they stand ready to help you conquer whatever challenges you face. For everyone, if we work towards living into his legacy we won’t have time to ask why he’s gone because we’ll be too busy telling the amazing story of Preston J. Davis.

Rest easy Preston, we have the watch.

11 Years Later

Today was eerily similar to 11 years ago: clear beautiful blue sky with hardly any clouds, cool fall like temperatures, going to work in the morning doing my part to prepare people in the military for anything that would come their way. 11 years ago I was teaching future nuclear officers how to operate a Naval Reactor when the planes first hit. Today I am a chaplain serving a USMC infantry battalion who deployed to Afghanistan last year. Most of my Marines were young on September 11th, and have a different perspective than someone who was in his 20's when it happened. They joined the military during a prolonged conflict, I prayed we'd never have to go to war during my time as it is a horrible prospect. Horror came to us and we were afraid and confused. A day much like December 7th or June 6th I don't think Americans will ever forget and we do need to remember, but after reading some posts on Facebook and Twitter today, maybe we can begin to forgive.

I rarely posts my sermons for all to read because I believe sermons are crafted for a specific audience at a specific time. However, I read my sermon from last year in Afghanistan given on September 11th to Marines, Sailors and civilian contractors in a war zone using passages from the lectionary that resonated with the day (and the lectionary was written many years before 9/11). So I decided to share this a my contribution to the sea of reflections we are reading and hearing today. (It may read a bit choppy as it is a combination of notes and prose)

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Matthew 18:21-35

“Forgiveness is Hard”

11 September 2011 Field Services

What a day to talk about forgiveness! Sometimes the lectionary really resonates with the day. 10 years ago the world changed for all of us. 10 years ago set the stage for us to be here today.

10 years ago was a hard day. I remember where I was, but what I really remember was frantically trying to find out what happened with an old shipmate of mine who was working in the Pentagon. Called him, no answer. Called his wife, frantic mess. Vengance wasn’t on my mind, nor was forgiveness.

Can we forgive an event like 9/11? An event forever associated with a date, that is a rare thing in our country. It and July 4^th. Both world changing dates. Can we do what Jesus talks about and forgive those who attack us from nowhere?

Jesus tells us we should. There is no way around it reading this passage. And if we try to skimp out on giving the forgiveness and grace God gave us it does not do much for us as seen by the landowners reaction.

Look at the gospel for today. We continue the 77 times forgiven from last week showing us that our grace should be as limitless a Christ’s. Jesus knows we won’t like it so he tells a story about it. A guy owes 10,000 talents. A talent is 15 years of wages for the common laborer. The owner calls the debt in and the man can’t pay so off to jail with him and his family. He pleads his case and is forgiven the equivalent of 150,000 years of wages.

So what does he do? Go out and celebrate and share the grace and love? No he goes out and puts a guy in jail for 100 denari or about 100 days of wages. The owner gets pissed and has the man tortured. And Jesus ends the passage saying, “So my heavenly father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

It’s time to forgive. It’s time to release ourselves from the power of sin against us. We can’t change the hurt. We can’t make it go away. But we can take its power. When we forgive someone for what they have done, no matter how small or large we free ourselves from that person and the power their sin holds over us.

Holding a grudge eats away at us. The person who wronged us still holds the cards and is still affecting our lives in a direct and dangerous way. If we let it continue, over time it takes over our thoughts and starts to affect everything we do.

Forgiving, takes that power away. The person’s actions no longer rule our lives. They no longer are there in everything we do. Forgiving opens space for God to come in and fill that void. It allows God a bit more power and room in our lives. Forgiveness allows beauty to come where there was darkness and destruction.

We think we have to forget when we forgive. We can’t forget certain events in our lives. I’m not even sure God wants us to forget our trauma. Everything that happens to us, with us and through us makes us who we are today. It is our story and we can’t rewrite the page once the ink is dry.

Forgiving allows us to begin the process of incorporating a trauma into our lives. Forgiveness shows us that the individual or event doesn’t have power over us. Once we get out from under that power we are free to live a full life in God’s grace and give that to others.

We have to put 9/11 in this context as Christians. It’s hard and that is why we tend to look for answers other than forgiveness. Maybe we don’t easily forgive because we equate it with forgetting. But forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiveness is release for us.

Many of us are here today because of one clear Tuesday morning in September. We have to forgive what happened that day to allow God’s work to shine through our lives. We have to forgive to help the people out here who need our help. Forgiveness prevents vengeance. We have to forgive to let beauty come out of the ashes of the towers and Pentagon. Forgiving those who started this chain of events is the only way we can honor what happened 10 years ago. Seeking vengeance doesn’t change the world. Vengeance doesn’t honor the dead. Seeking beauty does. And the beauty to come from 9/11 starts with forgiveness. 

I don't think we need to forget, because us humans need reminders of the dangers of war. But, I think it is time for us to forgive. I know this isn't hard, as my friend and colleague in the Army Mel Baars states so well in this article. As the US role in these conflicts winds down, it is my prayer that as the distance grows from such a tragic day, so does our forgiveness. 

Remembering A Fallen Deadwalker

This is for all of the 1/9 family who were unable to make it to the memorial service this morning where we remembered the life of Corporal Kevin Dabrowski. Kevin died in a tragic car accident in South Carolina two weeks ago and is survived by his two year old son. Today was a day of telling stories of an outstanding Marine who affected the lives of many people throughout the battalion. Our goal was to tell the story of this Marine so his son would know who his father was as he gets older and begins to ask questions. I won't post the reflections by the other speakers today as they can send those into the ether on their own, but I wanted to post my short reflection on how his son and the rest of the battalion can honor Kevin's life going forward.

Today you have heard people describe who your father was and what he meant to them. At this moment you are too young to fully comprehend what these men were talking about, but you know that your father isn’t around anymore. You realize something is missing in your life, something that means a lot and you are probably having trouble telling everyone what is missing. As you get older and can understand what these Marines said today you will begin asking the questions your teachers say are important; Who, What, When, Where, Why and How? There are concrete details in the official reports of your father’s death that will answer the What, When and Where. We are recording this service today to help you answer Who your dad was. That leaves the two most difficult questions; Why and How?

All of us in this room have asked the question why did Kevin die? Why were you on that road at that exact moment? Why did we lose such a young, outstanding Marine with a bright future ahead? Asking is how we try and make sense of tragedy. Those who were close to Kevin will ask that question many times over the course of their life. And I am here to say that we will probably never know the answer to that question in our lifetime. So, please don’t get frustrated if you don’t find a satisfactory answer to why your dad isn’t here anymore. Despite what people may try and tell you, I’m here to say there isn’t a good answer. I don’t have one either, so I’m not going to stand here and fill your head with theories and speculation.

So, let’s focus on the last question, the how. And not how did Kevin die, but how do we live out his legacy? How do we honor Corporal Kevin Dabrowski as we go forward with our lives? One place to start is to embrace the positive characteristics of his life that made a profound impact on the lives of others. Your mother, your grandparents and those Marines here can help you learn more about what a difference he made in their lives. Listen to the stories they tell of him, stories of practical jokes he played on his fellow Marines, stories of his dedication to spend time with you despite the challenge of distance and time.

These are all stories of how to live a life that honors your father. Not all of those stories will make sense. Many will not have a clear lesson when you first hear them. But, collect and treasure those stories because as you hear more and piece them together you will learn how to honor your father. From these stories you will learn how to live a life of dedication to others, caring for those whom you lead, living a life of joy. Whenever you get stuck trying to answer the question of why your dad isn’t here, remember the stories of you father and focus on how to live a life that honors him.

           Over the past few weeks, this event has helped me to see a deeper meaning to the song “Awake My Soul” written by Mumford and Sons. The lyrics include, “Now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know…Lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all…In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” Don’t let your heart stumble on the why, death happens to us all. Grab the hands of the Marines around you, they stand ready to help you conquer every challenge you may face. Your father invested his love in you and the Marines here today. They want to honor Kevin’s life through investing their love in your life. Just like this song, your father’s investment in love will pay dividends in many lives for decades to come.

Rest easy Marine, we have the watch! 

The Softer Side of the Corps

Been busy the last few weeks, so I couldn't throw up a post last weekend after our latest volunteer event at 1/9. I have to tell you, the Marines and Sailors of the Walking Dead continue to show there is more to being in the military than going out in the field and training for war. Last Friday (June 22nd) we all headed to the USO in Jacksonville to bag meals for an organization called Stop Hunger Now who has an amazing program to provide meals to school children around the world. Since 1998 they have packaged an amazing 70 Million (Yes, you read that correctly!) meals and shipped them all around the globe. What is really phenomenal about the program is those meals have arrived in Haiti and Afghanistan, both countries where the Marines of 1/9 have participated in helping people on the ground. It was great to have them make a difference in a different way at the start of humanitarian assistance. I also learned that the founder of the organization served in Vietnam with the Marines as a Chaplain's Assistant. So it was great to have Marines helping a humanitarian group founded by a fellow Marine.

We are working to coordinate a larger event for as many Marines and Sailors (and their families) from the Carolina MAGTAF as we can handle. Hopefully, we can get everything organized at some point in the near future and hold a great event for a great organization. And for all the 1/9 families that read this blog, please keep asking your Marine about volunteer service as we want the families to come out and help as well, especially as Stop Hunger Now is for anyone over the age of 4.

Some photos of the event:

So Long New York and Thanks for all the Stuff

It has been a while since posting here, but the 1/9 families have seen the recent photos so know why the posting has been light. We just got back last weekend from an amazing week in NYC for Fleet Week. For more than twenty years, the city has invited various units who are recently returned from deployment and treated them to a week of high class living and hospitality that is unmatched. For the USMC battalion chosen to participate, it means having to endure four days at sea (two up there and two back.) For those who are prone to sea sickness, at first this seems a bit unbearable for a week in a liberty port, but once they man the rails the Marines and Sailors begin to understand just how special this week will turn out.

I'm not sure if words can describe entering New York harbor by sea passing under the Verrazano-Narrows bridge and seeing the Statue of Liberty right in front of you. It gave everyone a true appreciation of what our ancestors felt like when they came through to Ellis Island (another sight just past Lady Liberty). Soon after that we passed lower Manhattan and rendered honors to the former WTC site, another powerful event I am blessed to know I participated in something so special.

I had always hoped to participate in Fleet Week as part of the official party and can't believe I finally got to head up there, more so that I was able to participate with the Walking Dead following our deployment to Afghanistan. Many military members make a trip to NYC for Memorial Day Weekend to take in some of the love, but they miss out on so much of the whole experience. (Though I'm convinced I might just need to travel to NYC with a uniform for the rest of my life).

Everyone had a different experience over the week. There are so many different events that we have to split up into many groups all over the area to make those commitments. Guys participated in parades, displays in Times Square, CNBC shows, Mets games, golf outings, raid demonstrations at various parks in the area, giving tours on the ship, attending dinners, ringing the NYSE bell, leading worship for various faith groups, Jimmy Fallon show, the Daily Show, Today Show, Fox and Friends, giving interviews, a Katy Perry concert (where one Dead Walker kissed her on stage), Tim McGraw concert, the Men In Black 3 premier, and just walking around in uniform talking to the people of NYC.

Even though we got a bunch of free stuff from the events we attended as well as from random people buying us drinks and dinners, I think the most memorable event was on Tuesday 29 May. Early that morning we all loaded up on ferries to lower Manhattan to go for a little run. Most of the Marines were a bit upset at having to get up so early and dealing with an early liberty time the night before as everyone without another event was required to go on this run. It was a 1.5 mile run around lower Manhattan to the WTC memorial where we laid a wreath at the end of the run. Nothing compares to people running out of their offices to take photos of a column of Marines running to cadence in NYC on their way to pay respects to those who lost their lives on 9/11. I highly recommend taking in the memorial if you are ever in NYC.

Thanks New York, it was a week I'll never forget.

Why I Love My Job (Part 1)

The last two Fridays are good examples of what I love about ministering to Marines (and specifically Infantry Marines).

Last Friday (April 27th), I had the pleasure of spending my entire day helping out with a local Special Olympics event. I got paid to go and hang out with 300 of my Marines as well as about 500 Special Olympic athletes. We were there to assist in everything from escorting and coaching athletes to parking and serving lunch. I was amazed by the high turnout and interest from the battalion (over 1/3 went) which shows we found something to keep them coming back to help with. The best part was seeing the smiles on the faces of everyone involved and I'm not really sure who was smiling more, the athletes or the Marines. It was great to see the Marines and sailors enjoying the softer side of their job and the biggest reward for me was the number of them who have asked about doing more of this on a regular basis, something the command wants them to do as well.

Two days ago we had the first battalion wide hike since I've been with 1/9. Normally, just companies go out for a hike. But, we have been selected to perform an endurance test to get some evaluative data for the Marine Corps next month and have been doing longer hikes the last two months to get ready for the 12 mile hike next month. The 8 mile hikes were done on a company basis in March but were nothing compared to Friday. It is impressive to see the entire battalion in one line taking up the road and stopping traffic for 5 minutes at a time each intersection we came across. And the ministry opportunity is amazing as I get to walk back and forth talking with Marines and passing out candy as I go along. It sure makes the miles and time pass by quickly and I can't believe I get to minister in such a unique way.

Where Everbody Knows Your Name

I had the pleasure of heading up to DC this past weekend to visit with some old friends and attend the Submarine Birthday Ball on Friday night. I can't tell you how amazing it was to see faces I haven't seen in almost 10 years and have a conversation as if we saw each other just last week. If there is any question as to the bonds forged in the military, Friday night serves as a prime example of how important those bonds are to us. Everywhere we are sent with the military as long as we find a group of military persons who have served in our specialty we will find friends. For me it was refreshing to hang out with a bunch of submarine qualified individuals for just a night to remind me of my military roots and see those who inspired me to take the path I am now on.

There were 5 of the 16 students in my department head class, 5 of the 67 in my initial training pipeline, a former boss, one of my sonar techs who is training for an elite sonar designation in the DC area, a fellow instructor from Nuclear Power School, a former JO who is now a doctor and a fellow department head from my second ship, a former student of mine from power school and all of their significant others. I couldn't help but hear the theme song from Cheers in my head as I kept running into people I knew and had no idea were stationed in DC.

It is nights like this past Friday that make me realize just how special this whole military community truly is.

Injured or Prophetic

A group of individuals spend almost three years getting to know each other and learning their quirks and strengths. They spend more time together than with their families that they only rarely find an opportunity to see as they are always on the road doing their job or learning how to perform better without their leader. They quickly become friends and eventually treat each other as brothers and sisters. The respect for their leader quickly becomes adoration and devotion. They would follow him anywhere, even to the gates of hell. His leadership and dedication to their well-being is unmatched. Outsiders take notice of his leadership and many want to switch units to follow him. Then, one dark day that vaunted leader is brutally murdered and many of the group watch. Some up close, some from a distance. They don’t know what to do. They retreat, talk and plot their next move. They have choices; 1) disband and run, 2) murderous revenge on those who killed their leader, 3) let the event drive them into a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior, 4) grow from his death and put what he taught them into action and complete the mission. What are they to do?

This is a familiar story today. We hear many reports of those serving overseas experiencing similar conditions and choices. A tight knit unit loses a beloved member or even their leader in a traumatic manner. This causes post-traumatic stress. It happens often in combat. Those who witness those events have choices similar to the ones listed above. But, the above story isn’t about combat. It’s actually a condensed version of Christ and his disciples. I don’t tell it here in this context as a way of conversion (though if it inspires you that way talk to a local pastor or myself to further explore those thoughts). I tell it as a case study of how to treat combat veterans as they return from combat.

All too often in the press, we hear of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the dreaded four letter acronym PTSD. The military has gone to great lengths to remove the last word to encourage people to seek help if they think they need it. By removing the disorder portion we want people to see it as an injury. The military talks now of combat stress injuries and openly discusses post-traumatic stress. All good efforts, but I think we are missing the point. Most people who have witnessed a traumatic event want to just put it behind them and move on. That isn’t possible. Repressing those events just builds up the pressure and makes it worse when it comes to a head. Talking about it with a trusted person is the best treatment (and, yes in some cases medication is needed alongside verbalization).

And because society doesn’t understand what is going on because they either don’t want to hear what survivors of a traumatic event need to say or because they don’t want to understand how to talk with them, society just paints everyone returning from combat with a broad brush of PTSD. I am routinely asked if I am ok, if I saw anything that would make me a ticking time bomb of PTSD. My Marines are accused by their loved ones of having PTSD and those loved ones call me with their diagnoses because if combat changes you it has to be for the worst. Right?

Wrong! There is something called Post-Traumatic Growth that I think we can cultivate in the majority of persons who see combat. It is a relatively new idea (last 20 years or so) coming from research surrounding cancer patients and a study of Israeli terrorist event survivors. I don’t have a lot of research or links as most of the articles are pay to read, but the idea is important for those dealing with combat veterans. The basic idea is that post-traumatic stress occurs following any traumatic event. The symptoms are the same: loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, nightmares, behavioral changes, etc. The difference is how the individuals cope with the symptoms. They can either let the event define their life in a positive (growth) or negative (disorder) manner. The communities surrounding the individual play a huge role in which way they go. Much of what we do in the Marines is to promote growth through talking about it before and after we enter a combat zone. It works in the overwhelming majority of cases. What if we changed our frame of reference when dealing with combat vets from one of expecting disorder to one expecting growth and positives?

So what does this have to do with the disciples? Everything. The disciples could have either run and given up everything they were taught about bringing about a different reality. They didn’t they chose to live into what they learned. They brought meaning to a brutal death. They lived lives that honored the one who taught them. They sought a different way from what society expected from them. They continued what they knew was the correct path despite ridicule from society. Those close to them kept encouraging them to stay true to their training. They believed in that community and what it stood for to risk everything, including their lives, to show others the new reality they saw. Prophets.

My Marines and Sailors want to grow from combat and most do. But, society tries to prevent that. They are all painted with a disorder brush and society expects them to fall apart after seeing combat. But, we don’t expect that from plane crash survivors, cancer survivors and their families, those suffering from paralyzing accidents, etc. Why paint combat vets with that brush? I can’t answer that. But, I can say those who have seen combat have a different view of life. And maybe society doesn’t want to hear what they have to say about how we are living life. They know that war sucks. They know that blind consumerism isn’t a sustainable reality. They know that arguing about stupid stuff doesn’t solve problems. Those who serve will let you know you are focusing on the wrong stuff. And they are gruff about it. It’s the way they are. They have become prophetic without knowing it. It’s hard to hear. We can either listen to their stories or write them off as mentally ill like we have done for millennia.

When society fails to listen to their stories and the reality they have seen, we force them down the self-destructive road. They get fed up with society telling them what to believe and how to interpret combat. Even if you don’t agree with what they did, give them space to talk about how they see life differently. They have a profound life experience that can show us a better reality because they know what negative effects violence can lead to. Many are thinking of ways to make the world better and the trivial pursuits of a mundane life are no longer enough. They want to make a profound impact on life reflective of the profound experience of combat. In this time where Christians celebrate renewed life and the impossible becoming possible, let us listen to some modern day prophets for glimpses of a new and profound reality.

Let this start a conversation. Comment and share as you see fit.

A Reflection of Society

So what exactly are we to make of the events of last weekend? I thought about posting my thoughts earlier to the small number of you who read these entries, but I wanted to wait and not jump to conclusions. It still seems a bit early to try and figure out what happened to cause a 38 year-old career soldier to commit such a horrible act. If I were to listen solely to the TV, I’d come away with the impression that he was suffering from acute PTSD due to TBI (a concussion is classified TBI and we don’t claim PTSD for every football player who takes a violent hit resulting in a concussion) and that is what made him snap and murder civilians. Reading articles in newspapers shows a bit more complicated and nuanced picture of what happened. Regardless, we won’t know the truth until a trial and even then we will ponder the unanswered questions that aren’t discussed. So, I’m not looking to figure out what happened in this solitary case. I think there is a larger issue at play that affects not only this particular Staff Sergeant, nor the military in general. There is a larger issue that affects our entire culture and it is one I don’t foresee any media from investigating: a lack of training in our lives of how to make ethical decisions.

Back in the submarine days, anytime some unexpected event occurred we got all the key players around and conducted a critique. I have experienced my fair share of critiques as both the subject of the gathering as well as a neutral observer there to write down the facts and find the root causes. The goal is to find the points that led to the failure and then discuss ways we could prevent it from happening again. Sometimes, there are things you can’t foretell and you are just left holding the bag and have to figure out the recovery. But many times there are distinct and multiple errors that led to the particular gathering with the Commanding Officer and outside agencies offering assistance and possibly punishment. Undoubtedly, there is an investigation in Afghanistan doing similar things right now asking many questions that relate to the specific events leading to a horrific act early one morning. And that is necessary and needed for closure with his unit.

But, I think there is a larger root cause at play here, and PTSD is just a symptom not a cause. I can probably safely assume that everyone who has deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq has suffered some form of combat stress. The overwhelming majority come back, decompress and that is it. A very small number come back and have trouble reintegrating with their families and society in general. We work hard to identify them and get them the treatment they need. Most of the time, it involves talking about what they went through and assuring them that it’s normal to think things are a bit bizarre in the US compared to the life they lived for 7-13 months in country. Some of those who can’t readjust just can’t get back in the swing of things easily so we need to get them specialized treatment because they can’t function as our society expects. If this Staff Sergeant couldn’t function and make decisions he most likely would never have deployed in the first place. So while the PTSD argument is compelling and plays well with the press, I think it is a red herring (there is a chance he saw something and just snapped, but I don’t get that kind of vibe from what I have been reading).

He made terrible decisions with horrific results. I would venture the amount of time he spent learning about ethical decision-making was miniscule at best. Most of the Marines I encounter don’t come from any kind of background that teaches ethics at all. And no, it doesn’t require a religious background to study ethics (though many people will try and convince you of that, probably a reason why we don’t teach ethics in public schools). Many come to the military to get a sense of order in a chaotic life where ethics is the last thing in their minds. We send them to boot camp and some specialized schooling where ethics is presented as this ethereal concept of black and white decisions based on the law of armed conflict and decisions of right and wrong. Then we take these kids who have no real idea of their ethical framework and what drives their decisions and put them in combat, a place where ethics can rapidly become murky for the best trained and informed individuals. You see and hear about things that rattle your worldview and how you order your life. If that is shaky to start, things can rapidly deteriorate.

Ethics isn’t just right and wrong choices (in the military we have to follow the Geneva Conventions, etc.) it’s about our decision-making ability. The way I reason through a murky situation says a lot about the ethical framework under which I operate and my framework is probably different than yours. Knowing how we think and reason is important not only for me, but also for my commander. If I know how I will approach and ethical issue and talk about it with those in my immediate chain of command through open discussion of case studies they know in which situations I may struggle ethically. Some ethical frameworks (relativism) don’t work in a military environment and if an individual won’t refocus their framework then maybe we need to send them on their way.

But, we don’t want to “force” a belief system on people if they work for the government. Our society is libertarian by nature (i.e. I’ll do what I want as long as it doesn’t infringe on another’s rights) and we feel that moral and ethical standards may cross that line. I disagree. In the military (and I would argue for society as a whole), we need moral and ethical boundaries to function properly. When recruits arrive without understanding what comprises ethics and how to reason through decisions fully we are starting them out at a disadvantage. So what can we do?

This is only one approach and probably isn’t anywhere near the right one. In our battalion we talked with every Non-Commissioned Officer and higher in rank about ethical decisions and how to talk about ethics with their Marines and sailors. We described many types of ethical frameworks and let them discover which one they operated under. We talked about the strengths and weaknesses of each. We also talked about how the Geneva Conventions came into being as well as the Law of Armed Conflict and international expectations. We also discussed why the US follows a certain standard of behavior in combat with groups who seem to not follow the rules of war. We let them disagree. We let them vent about it before we got into country. We agreed that it isn’t “fair” but it is what they signed up for and if they had a serious problem with it to come see me. We then showed some movie clips and talked about the ethical ramifications of each as a guide of how to discuss ethics with their Marines. We talked about how they have multiple opportunities each week to bring ethical discussions into their work. Finally, we gave each NCO access to dozens of case studies if they ever needed material to get a discussion started. Most importantly we didn’t make it a forced program and just told them we expected this from small unit leaders and why it would help them in the long run. From every indication, it worked in combat and we’ll use it again before the next deployment and I’ll take the program with me for every command I serve as well as any churches I serve upon my retirement.

I could be wrong on this whole thing, but I just think the media is looking for a quick surface answer because they are scared and finding out their complicity in what happened last weekend. If we are truly honest with ourselves we will see our faces in the mirror as we realize that ethics is in everything we do and we have placed learning about such an important thing in the background or just expect the military to teach a life-long skill in a few weeks of boot camp. It takes a great deal of time and effort to prepare yourself for the short moments where you have to make rapid ethical decisions (and yes, it does happen in the civilian world as well especially in school where cheating is on the rise). And if you haven’t explored where you stand you will rapidly learn your ethical foundation is made out of sand in the face of a tsunami.

If you have other ideas to teach ethics, drop me a line and let me know your ideas. As always if you have comments, feel free to discuss here on this page.

A Humor Break

WARNING: There is some bad language in here. If you don't like people swearing don't watch.

However, if you want a good laugh and things people say to vets that annoys them to no end, watch and enjoy. This has gone viral over the last few days and I couldn't resist.

Uncomfortable with Vets

I know it has been a long time since the last post, but I took some much needed time off work after the deployment and am now getting back into the swing of things. Work has returned with a vengeance, but is starting to settle down a bit and I hope to post at least every other week.

One thing I was asked to do at the end of last month was to speak to my Presbytery (they are the governing body of me as a minister) about what I do as a chaplain, how a chaplain ministers in combat and how churches can help out chaplains. I think this blog has covered the first two items over the last few months, mostly in order to provide a glimpse of life in Afghanistan to the families of 1/9, but I haven't really talked about the last item. Reflecting on the topic before the talk, I realized that chaplains really need to take the lead in speaking out on how to care for our service members who are deployed, combat or not. We have a unique inside angle on the spiritual needs of service members and sometimes we allow ourselves to stay fairly isolated from the larger faith community to which we belong. I realized that at times I also fall into this category and have forced myself to keep that from happening.

There is a distinct divide between those who serve and those who don't. I don't hold myself in greater esteem because I serve a unique congregation, but I think faith communities would do a better job supporting chaplains and their "flock" if they knew what we did and if we actually told them what support we needed. Sure, I could just rely on the military programs for helping my Marines and sailors, but I honestly believe that faith communities (regardless of their theology or beliefs) need to take a larger role in caring for those who have served.

Most congregations I have attended during my years on active duty talk about serving the military. But, they do so through care packages and prayer. I'm not discounting the need for these things. Personally, I am convinced the prayers of many people across the country played a role in my entire battalion making it home alive and with all their limbs. We had many close calls that I could never explain why those guys are still here with me today except through some divine plan I don't understand and probably never will. And care packages are vital for morale as they serve as tangible evidence they are not forgotten. Opening those boxes brings many smiles thousands of miles away. I would just ask churches to contact the receiving unit before sending something. When you send without knowing the needs, some stuff may end up in the burn pit.

In reflecting on the idea of what churches can do for those who serve in the military (and this would probably hold true for other groups who avoid church) is to allow themselves to feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable sitting beside someone who may have killed in combat. Combat those in the congregation send into combat by the way. A congregation who is willing to sit with and come alongside that individual as they work out what they saw and did in combat. A congregation willing to enter into the murky and uncomfortable world of ethics in combat, what some have called "ethical warriors" or "noble warriors." A congregation that will listen in love and not judge them because they are in the military. Some may come seeking repentance for what they have seen and done. Some may say they have done nothing wrong. Both of them should be welcomed with open arms into our congregations. We say no sin is too large for God, we need to live that out. These conversations are messy, painful, uncomfortable, unruly. But they are beautiful, healing, at times joyful. I know as I have them on a regular basis and many of those conversations don't deal with combat related issues. I encounter more service members damaged from other aspects of society than their deployment to Afghanistan. Even an atheist in my battalion recognizes the need for somewhere for his young Marines to have these conversations.

Without a healthy and supportive environment to work through this discomfort, my Marines and sailors will seek unhealthy ways to navigate the issues. Chaplains are only in their lives for a short amount of time. I have only been in 1/9 for 16 months and almost half of them will be in other units by April. Churches, synagogues, mosques, etc can offer a stable long-term presence in the lives of my service members. Especially if a denomination embraces this call and no matter where they are stationed they can turn to a specific faith group for a loving community to be there if they are needed. If you are reading this and a member of a faith community I challenge you to go beyond prayer and care packages and invite your vets to discuss what needs they have.

I am more than willing to discuss this with anyone who wants to explore ways to provide such a community, regardless of your faith preference. Just drop me a line or discuss freely in the comments.

What I Will Miss About Afghanistan

I originally planned to sit down and provide the list of things that made Afghanistan a place to visit and what won't ever leave my memory soon after the last post. However, work got busy and I haven't forced myself to sit down and provide the 2nd half of the first post. So here goes:

1) The People: The majority of Afghans I met are amazing people doing their best to survive and really just want people to leave them alone. They are resilient and will thrive if given the chance. It is my prayer that the sliver of freedom they glimpse through our work takes hold and they run with it and design a way of life that works for them while allowing their natural gifts to flourish. I have many memories of conversations over tea with smiles as well as meeting the children when out and about.

2) Children: Regardless of where you go, kids will always be kids. They are the same everywhere. It was so much easier to communicate with them despite the language differences because you just knew what they wanted. They were rarely shy about coming up and interacting with us and their presence really helped most of the guys realize why they were sent 7000 miles from home.

3) The Food: I ate some of the most amazing food I have tasted overseas. While the meals were always pretty much the same of chicken, rice, bread and fruit it was always sumptuous. The spice they use for the chicken is wonderful and the bread is highly sought after with many Marines buying that whenever they had the chance. And the fruit convinced me that local, organic produce is the way to live. The produce came from close by and was grown with natural fertilizer with a taste much better than what I usually obtain in a store.

4) The Marines: Serving as a chaplain in a combat zone is a special honor and I am glad to have been given that responsibility. It was a once in a lifetime chance to really be with the infantry. I can't fully describe the respect and love I have for my Marines and sailors and they will always hold a special place in my heart. They endured so much for each other and for people they didn't really know and I hope the experience changed them in a positive way as much as myself.

There are many other things I will miss, but I don't want to ramble on and on. Plus, I have to work on a presentation for my Presbytery for next weekend. I get to speak to church leaders about what chaplains do and how they can assist us as we minister to service members.