11 Years Later

Today was eerily similar to 11 years ago: clear beautiful blue sky with hardly any clouds, cool fall like temperatures, going to work in the morning doing my part to prepare people in the military for anything that would come their way. 11 years ago I was teaching future nuclear officers how to operate a Naval Reactor when the planes first hit. Today I am a chaplain serving a USMC infantry battalion who deployed to Afghanistan last year. Most of my Marines were young on September 11th, and have a different perspective than someone who was in his 20's when it happened. They joined the military during a prolonged conflict, I prayed we'd never have to go to war during my time as it is a horrible prospect. Horror came to us and we were afraid and confused. A day much like December 7th or June 6th I don't think Americans will ever forget and we do need to remember, but after reading some posts on Facebook and Twitter today, maybe we can begin to forgive.

I rarely posts my sermons for all to read because I believe sermons are crafted for a specific audience at a specific time. However, I read my sermon from last year in Afghanistan given on September 11th to Marines, Sailors and civilian contractors in a war zone using passages from the lectionary that resonated with the day (and the lectionary was written many years before 9/11). So I decided to share this a my contribution to the sea of reflections we are reading and hearing today. (It may read a bit choppy as it is a combination of notes and prose)

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Matthew 18:21-35

“Forgiveness is Hard”

11 September 2011 Field Services

What a day to talk about forgiveness! Sometimes the lectionary really resonates with the day. 10 years ago the world changed for all of us. 10 years ago set the stage for us to be here today.

10 years ago was a hard day. I remember where I was, but what I really remember was frantically trying to find out what happened with an old shipmate of mine who was working in the Pentagon. Called him, no answer. Called his wife, frantic mess. Vengance wasn’t on my mind, nor was forgiveness.

Can we forgive an event like 9/11? An event forever associated with a date, that is a rare thing in our country. It and July 4^th. Both world changing dates. Can we do what Jesus talks about and forgive those who attack us from nowhere?

Jesus tells us we should. There is no way around it reading this passage. And if we try to skimp out on giving the forgiveness and grace God gave us it does not do much for us as seen by the landowners reaction.

Look at the gospel for today. We continue the 77 times forgiven from last week showing us that our grace should be as limitless a Christ’s. Jesus knows we won’t like it so he tells a story about it. A guy owes 10,000 talents. A talent is 15 years of wages for the common laborer. The owner calls the debt in and the man can’t pay so off to jail with him and his family. He pleads his case and is forgiven the equivalent of 150,000 years of wages.

So what does he do? Go out and celebrate and share the grace and love? No he goes out and puts a guy in jail for 100 denari or about 100 days of wages. The owner gets pissed and has the man tortured. And Jesus ends the passage saying, “So my heavenly father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

It’s time to forgive. It’s time to release ourselves from the power of sin against us. We can’t change the hurt. We can’t make it go away. But we can take its power. When we forgive someone for what they have done, no matter how small or large we free ourselves from that person and the power their sin holds over us.

Holding a grudge eats away at us. The person who wronged us still holds the cards and is still affecting our lives in a direct and dangerous way. If we let it continue, over time it takes over our thoughts and starts to affect everything we do.

Forgiving, takes that power away. The person’s actions no longer rule our lives. They no longer are there in everything we do. Forgiving opens space for God to come in and fill that void. It allows God a bit more power and room in our lives. Forgiveness allows beauty to come where there was darkness and destruction.

We think we have to forget when we forgive. We can’t forget certain events in our lives. I’m not even sure God wants us to forget our trauma. Everything that happens to us, with us and through us makes us who we are today. It is our story and we can’t rewrite the page once the ink is dry.

Forgiving allows us to begin the process of incorporating a trauma into our lives. Forgiveness shows us that the individual or event doesn’t have power over us. Once we get out from under that power we are free to live a full life in God’s grace and give that to others.

We have to put 9/11 in this context as Christians. It’s hard and that is why we tend to look for answers other than forgiveness. Maybe we don’t easily forgive because we equate it with forgetting. But forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiveness is release for us.

Many of us are here today because of one clear Tuesday morning in September. We have to forgive what happened that day to allow God’s work to shine through our lives. We have to forgive to help the people out here who need our help. Forgiveness prevents vengeance. We have to forgive to let beauty come out of the ashes of the towers and Pentagon. Forgiving those who started this chain of events is the only way we can honor what happened 10 years ago. Seeking vengeance doesn’t change the world. Vengeance doesn’t honor the dead. Seeking beauty does. And the beauty to come from 9/11 starts with forgiveness. 

I don't think we need to forget, because us humans need reminders of the dangers of war. But, I think it is time for us to forgive. I know this isn't hard, as my friend and colleague in the Army Mel Baars states so well in this article. As the US role in these conflicts winds down, it is my prayer that as the distance grows from such a tragic day, so does our forgiveness.